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Post by Sharon on May 10, 2016 9:50:07 GMT -5
Please keep me in prayers today. I learned this morning that while Chris was deployed to Florida for those few weeks, he did sleep with another woman. I haven't spoken to him about it and I don't want to approach it at all unless God is putting it on me to do that. I went back and read over all the texts and all the messages of encouragement you guys shared with me on my post "no more", because it happened the day before that. I just want to stay out of Gods way and let him deal with this, but I'm feeling sad, broken, and angry again. I want peace though. I am not going to talk to Chris about this at all unless I feel somehow moved by God to speak. I have seen fruit of good coming from Chris recently and I know God is speaking to him. I am just praying that Chris chooses to listen.
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Post by Sharon on May 10, 2016 10:12:58 GMT -5
I was reading a family life article and was reminded that the every mans battle seminar is coming up in Denver. I texted Chris and he called me. I told him I know what happened in Florida and he started getting defensive saying he didn't do anything. I told him I didn't call to fight, that it's old and that's not what we need to talk about. I told him this seminar is coming up and I think it would benefit him if he wanted to go. He asked why? Defensive again. I told him that these guys have gone through similar struggles. That I am not condemning or judging. What he wants to do is up to him and I have seen good fruit from him recently and I know he is trying very hard, but he has told me before he doesn't know how to beat this and he doesn't know how to pursue God and spending some time around Godly men who have gone through this too would help him. I said that its up to him and I won't force anything although it would mean so much to me if he would go, but he has to decide for himself. He said alright and we said our I love you's and got off the phone. Please pray for Chris today that God would move him to want to go to this. It's the every mans battle seminar and I know it would help him and I feel like God reminded me about it so that I could share it with him. I hope and pray that he chooses to go, but this is in Gods hands.
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Post by Mary H on May 10, 2016 10:33:57 GMT -5
Sharon I'm so proud of you & so very motavated by your faithfulness to what Christ has called you to do..
Keep your eyes on Christs love & off of all that Chris does to fall short & his full reconciliation to Christ will be right around the corner!
I recommend a book called " Invisible" by Jennifer Rothchild. It's been amazing for my life lately
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Post by leandro on May 10, 2016 21:40:15 GMT -5
Sharon, it's good that you reacted that way, I just feel so bad for your husband because we are so blind when we are on the other side, but thank God for women like you who are truly a demonstration of Corinthians 13, I will keep you on my prayers and don't give up on Chris, he is making improvements from what you are sharing with us.
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Post by Sharon on May 10, 2016 23:45:45 GMT -5
Thank you Leondro. I wish you had known me 2 years ago because you would definitely not have seen that woman lol. I was extremely destructive and I did a lot of damage in the beginning. I was bitter and angry and we were at the brink of divorce several times. God is good and the only one who can rescue our marriages and thank you God that he wants to and calls us to stand.
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Post by Adrienne on May 11, 2016 17:15:41 GMT -5
How are you doing Sharon? I saw this yesterday but didn't have time to reply; I have been praying extra for you since!! I know this has to be so hard but I very much admire your strength. God is so good.. I will continue in prayer for you my dear friend.
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Post by Sharon on May 11, 2016 19:16:22 GMT -5
Thank you Adrienne. You guys are always the greatest friends! Things are good. I am trying so hard to keep my focus on God. There is an hour and a half worship session at church tonight that I am going to and I'm really excited for that. I sat down in prayer after Chris went to work last night. I prayed then read over my text conversation that I had with Chris the day after he had been with that girl. I felt compelled to write it down in my prayer journal so I did. It turned out to be 10 pages written out, but it was awesome to do it, because I prayed over every sentence. God revealed so much to me last night about how I treat Chris. He would say something, which in hindsight was obviously God giving me an opportunity to show love and again and again for 10 pages I failed. I kept responding with hatred and anger. It was so eye opening. Here I blame our marriage problems on Chris, but I have so much to work on. I texted him and told him "I love you Chris. I have so many regrets for missed opportunities when I should have loved you and I was so busy being angry at you. I really hope you can forgive me. I haven't been the helper I was made to be for you, but I want the chance to do it now." He didn't respond, but this morning he was being kind and loving. He called me baby which he never does. I know God is going to use this too
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Post by Adrienne on May 11, 2016 21:08:41 GMT -5
Sharon, I'm glad you could have that sense of clarity. I have often had moments like that as well where I am wanting to just judge G and be angry at him and blame me completely, but God then lays the conviction on my heart of the ways that I have also failed in this marriage. Not a one of us is perfect. Isn't it such a relief that we have a perfect God who extends us such mercy??
I feel like over and over again we have to realize our imperfection and correct ourselves, and keep seeking to follow God better and love our spouses more. This is a process that won't ever stop, we just have to keep deciding to pursue that every day. I encourage you to stay in prayer and keep forgiving and keep looking for those opportunities to show love and grace.
I greatly admire your heart for prayer; that is something I often struggle with. I can study the word for hours and can think about God all day but it's often hard for me to open my heart and just pray. But you inspire me to keep trying!! With faith that God is definitely listening :-)
Stay strong, friend, I pray that the worship service is very uplifting and that you can feel God's presence!
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Post by Sharon on May 12, 2016 8:41:27 GMT -5
Today is hard. Please I need more prayer for strength and peace. He has a bag he packed last night to take to work and I was looking for my diaper bag and baby wipes today and got in the bag and he has packed a letter from his Korea girlfriend and had pictures of them kissing in it and so much stuff about how she loves him. I put the letter away and wrote out " If we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. — 1 John 4:12" on a piece of paper. He came down the stairs so I kissed him and handed him the letter and the verse and left. He knows I know. I'm not going to say anything else. When I started praying on my drive, God reminded me that He was going to have a little more for me to carry and this was part of it and he brought the every mans battle to my mind again. I am praying and begging God that this would drive Chris forward to choose Him. Lauren diagles trust in you just came on the radio so I'm just praying.
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annie
Junior Member
Posts: 57 
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Post by annie on May 12, 2016 10:44:07 GMT -5
I'm sorry Sharon. We are carrying such heavy burdens right now. I wish it were easier for us. I am praying for you.
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Post by william on May 12, 2016 11:02:38 GMT -5
Sharon,
I am praying for you, your doing the right and Godly approach. Stay strong
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Post by Sharon on May 12, 2016 11:58:34 GMT -5
God gave me a few insights when I called my best friend Rebecca. One thing she said was "where there is no way, He makes a way" and at the worship last night, I heard a song that goes "where there is no way you make a way, where no one else can reach us you find us" and I felt God telling me to stop being the loving hand extended. That Chris is pursuing me and not God and I can not find him. I am that "no one else". Only God can find him. I am not answering phone calls or texts. He called the office and got me and said he's coming to get me for lunch, but if he comes I am going to say no. I am not married to this man. The man I am married to is in love and passionate for God. He loves God first and foremost and will do anything he can to lead people to Gods kingdom. This man isn't my husband and I won't be deceived anymore. The other realization God gave me is that Chris knows everything he must do to pursue God and he chooses to pursue the world. Harping in his ear won't change him. Only God can so I have to move.
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Post by Adrienne on May 12, 2016 12:11:57 GMT -5
I'm praying for you Sharon.
I'm not in your situation, but I know it's a fine line: How do we know when we are helping by offering a loving hand and when we just need to pull back? Only God can guide us in this area.. keep praying.
I do struggle with the idea that we're not really married to these men who are in sin (if I understand that idea correctly)... At least in my mind, the fact is that we're all unequally yoked, but we're still yoked. And it's important to remember that we are all sinners somehow or another. Perhaps what we have to realize is that we can't save our wayward husbands: that's God's role. There is only so much we can do...
Sorry, I don't know if this comment is helpful. I just want to encourage you to be really careful about your feelings, because I know you're hurting so badly right now (and understandably so). I want to encourage you to keep asking God for guidance. I am praying for you sister.
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Post by Sharon on May 12, 2016 13:01:14 GMT -5
Thank you so much for those words Adrienne. What I mean when I am saying I am not married to this man is that the enemy is deep at work in him and the enemy is not my husband. My husband is a man of God and I love that man and I'm fighting for that man. The enemy is deceiving me through Chris and I can't keep standing here letting it happen. I have to back away so Chris can choose the Lord or the enemy
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Post by Adrienne on May 12, 2016 13:17:15 GMT -5
Thank you for that clarification Sharon. That does make sense... that we have to recognize the enemy's influence and taint in our spouses! Yet also see all of the godly potential in them. And recognize that our spouses are not evil, but there is definitely a spiritual battle going on. (Sorry, some of this is just my mental processing). I pray for discernment and wisdom for you, for peace and the clarity to focus on God and His will for you personally!
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