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Post by Sharon on Jul 27, 2016 8:28:17 GMT -5
I haven't been pressing in recently like I should. Yes I'm praying every day and reading a devotional or two, but I'm not sitting down in my war room, praising and worshiping, and focusing on God like I should and today I'm feeling it. Chris has been good recently. As far as I know, he hasn't been cheating, trading pics, etc. God took away the desire for me to check up on him. I trust the Lord. He is doing the work and He doesn't need my help to do it, so I don't want to start any of that again, but today I'm afraid. Doubts are creeping in. He locked his office door after he left yesterday and says he has a way of unlocking it so I shouldn't worry. Y'all know that I'm worried about what that means. Just like I haven't been pressing into God, I haven't seen Chris pressing in recently. He's been skipping church again and still won't pray out loud for us. I can't tell if these are doubts from God or the enemy which is especially annoying, because I am used to knowing. I want to be in control and I think God is trying to help me give that up. I need advice and prayer friends. I'm gonna go home after work today and spend time with God.
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Post by Mary H on Jul 27, 2016 11:11:55 GMT -5
Sounds like you have the best advice Sharon.
Go home & spend time with the Lord. If Chris has somthing weird going on with his office, let him.
The Lord will repay & the Lord alone will change hearts in His perfect timing.
Return to your war room sister. I know how difficult it can be pressing in when we absolutely don't feel like it but it's rewarding as you already know. I recently got off the lazy horse & began pressing in again & I just love our God more than ever. It seems that the enemy snares us into these lazy spells but the Lord is so amazing in that each time I press in when the laziness is still intact, my love & Faith increase to more than before each time! He is so good to us!
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Post by Adrienne on Jul 27, 2016 11:58:31 GMT -5
Sharon, Mary said it perfectly: you already know that the answer is to pursue God. I know it's my constant refrain (and I myself struggle with it), but eyes on God. It is so great that you have been able to have more peace as of late, now don't let that slip away because of one doubting day. Pick yourself back up and press in, and Chris will see that example and hopefully begin to press in again as well. Either way, you know you have to chase God, whatever Chris decides to do. I'm praying for you today with this in mind, sister.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 27, 2016 21:16:10 GMT -5
Thanks so much guys. We are supposed to be visiting his family in Virginia in a few weeks flying into DC and I told him I wanted to go to Arlington National Cemetery to find ghost Pokemon (yeah I'm one of those crazy Pokemon go people these days) and he said he would never do that because it's completely disrespectful to his brothers and sisters in arms. I actually got really hurt by that! How can he care so flipping much about the vow he made to the military and nothing of the vow he made to God about our marriage! So I said nothing. And y'all know I don't just say nothing, but I prayed instead. And God answered by sending my son into the room with an impossible 3 year old problem that can only be solved by mom and I was able to escape Chris and come to my war room to pray. I just read this amazing devotional and part of it really stood out. "I choose my husband's happiness, his health, his well-being. I choose to build him up rather than tear him down. I choose forgiveness because otherwise we are hopeless. I choose to believe in him." I really want to be like this. He has hurt me so bad, and I just want to choose to forgive. He has torn me down, but I just want to build him up. I know this is the enemy attacking and I can't keep letting him win. Chris is not my God and the enemy won't have my joy. My joy comes from the Lord.
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Post by Mary H on Jul 27, 2016 21:31:14 GMT -5
Amen Sharon!
Thank You, Holy Spirit, for speaking to Sharon!
Keep on focusing thoes eyes upward sister!
Respect him even when you feel disrespected or unloved, & you & our Lord will be winning the battle!
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Post by Sharon on Jul 29, 2016 15:03:28 GMT -5
Ugh help! I'm tired of helping people. I'm tired of trying! I do good and it just gets thrown back in my face. I don't want to be nice or care about anyone anymore. I'm about to go on a self destructive streak again. Please send up prayers for me now. I need to control myself because I'm so angry and upset...
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Post by Adrienne on Jul 29, 2016 15:09:46 GMT -5
Praying for you now, Sharon!!
This was the verse that came to mind, Galatians 6:9... "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Remember that God has a plan... Sometimes I feel the same way: why should I care and be nice when I can just mind my own business? But remember that our being kind to others is our way of showing Christ to the world... I always think of that phrase "You may be the only Bible that some people read." I know it is really hard, but try to focus on how you can get closer to God by helping others, rather than focusing on how others respond to your acts of kindness/help.
I will be praying for you, sister. I recommend you take some deep breaths and get into prayer and praise... don't let yourself go down a dark path when God is waiting for you with open arms!
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Post by Sharon on Jul 29, 2016 16:23:05 GMT -5
Thank you sister. I know God heard your prayers for me, because I calmed down quickly and was able to pray and relax. I hate having these moments of anger and panic and loss of control. Thank you for that verse. It's exactly what I needed at this moment
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Post by leandro on Jul 30, 2016 7:59:46 GMT -5
Sharon, you know a lot of times when I'm writing your name my phone autocorrects it to shalom, so I want to believe it's the Holy Spirit telling me to tell you to have peace. I know it feels bad to help people that don't even recognize anything and are so blinded by the enemy that don't even see what you are doing, but as Adrianne mentioned on her post don't get tire of doing good Because you will be rewarded one day, that was the bible verse on my devotional for Thursday and it really talked to me. God bless you!!
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Post by marissaa91 on Jul 31, 2016 11:07:06 GMT -5
I agree with everyone else. It's easy to give in to doubts and anger (I know cause I struggle with it too) but quickly remind yourself that these doubts aren't from God. And if the anger isn't righteous and controllable then is not if God either. I'll keep praying for you sis. I understand how you feel.
(BTW, I'm a pokemon player too lol I thought I'd be the only one in the group).
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Post by Sharon on Aug 2, 2016 19:11:33 GMT -5
Leandro thank you so much for telling me about the autocorrect! I know God speaks to us in these ways so I am receiving that peace in Jesus name! Thanks Marissa. I've said it so many times but I'll say it again, praise God for this group and helping lead me here by a miracle to have a group of friends who loves God and understands this calling that He has given us
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Post by Sharon on Aug 4, 2016 0:18:21 GMT -5
Please pray for me tonight friends. I'm struggling and I know God is leading me and I don't want to fight Him, but sometimes it feels so unfair. My ex boyfriend tried to friend me on Facebook and I haven't said yes or no to the invite yet. I don't care about this guy anymore. I want to add him to be spiteful. I'll admit it to you guys! My feelings are still raw and my heart is still open. This was the ex that I stopped on and off seeing to be with Chris. It would hurt Chris to know I wanted to talk to this guy (I don't want to, but I'm being spiteful). It hurts that he got himself a girlfriend in the middle of our marriage. It hurts that he wanted to stay in touch with her after they broke up. It hurts that within the last month he tried to reach out again. And I'd love to just break his heart for once. I am not this person. I am not spiteful and mean. I am stronger then this and I love God way more then I want to hurt Chris, but it's not fair. I'm a good person. Why do I have to carry this sorrow around with me?! Why do I have these ideas plaguing me of uncertainty. Why don't I feel loved? I am a good wife. It shouldn't be this way. And it just sucks. It's so dang unfair that I'm scarred and hurting and sad and he just doesn't feel . I wish he would hurt for once. But I won't do it to him. Please just pray for me guys. My heart is hurting a lot tonight and I just need peace.
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Post by tkk2 on Aug 4, 2016 6:07:06 GMT -5
Sharon, you already said it...you are not that person. Do not give in to the temptation that the enemy is throwing at you with the ex. I totally get the hurt....i know everyone here does. It seems unfair, unjust etc but it's important to remember who your fight is with. The evil one wants to destroy, inflicting doubt and hurt. Pray, fight,trust.....god's got this girl!
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Post by leandro on Aug 4, 2016 8:23:12 GMT -5
Sharon, I totally understand where you at right now, believe me two days ago I spoke with my wife and I wanted to break her heart by telling her all about the other woman because I was hurt that she bought tickets to go to Las Vegas with that guy from work, but even though I wanted to do it, I didn't do it, I stood quite and did not talk much about this other woman, I just told her it was a door that I opened and that it was closed for good. I know she called me to find out who she was because she spoke with such anger and resentment, and I know it will hurt her to know that she is good looking and that she follows God even though she is not perfect. So my suggestion is to give it to God don't fall into the enemy's game, I did and it almost destroyed me. I will be praying for you sister. Be strong in the lord.
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Post by marissaa91 on Aug 4, 2016 14:11:12 GMT -5
I understand wanting him to feel it too, I feel like that very strongly sometimes. But I will tell you, as I'm sure you know, that every time I was spiteful it never ended well. And you said yourself, you are not this person and this is not what God would want you to do. You shouldn't repay evil with evil, even though it's tempting to. But it's a lie. Thinking that they'll feel it and finally understand is a lie because it never is that simple. It always gets messy and we end up regretting it after. Go to your prayer room and just ask for God's guidance and comfort in this had time for you. I'll be praying for you friend.
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