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Post by Adrienne on Aug 4, 2016 15:55:17 GMT -5
Sharon I know you posted this last night but I"m just now seeing it... how are you doing?? I agree with everyone here. Pray about it and don't let the enemy manipulate you!
This is the verse that immediately came to mind:
"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled" (Hebrews 12;15) --- This is a verse I have to call back to memory often!!!
And do NOT let the enemy or Chris lie to you saying that he's not hurting from all of this sin. It's simply not true. My G has tried to play that before too, like he's totally fine, doesn't see anything wrong about having an affair, etc. But I always remember an argument/discussion that we had a few months back that he confessed how badly it truly hurt. Chris may not be willing to admit it or he may be blinded to seeing it, but there's no doubt in my mind that he is definitely hurting from this!
I'll be praying about this for you, sister!
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Post by Sharon on Aug 4, 2016 18:35:13 GMT -5
Thank you guys for the prayers. Marissa something you said inspired me to go back to my "record of rights" and I started reading some texts I had saved from his Florida deployment when he was trying to hook up with the prostitute and how sorrowful and loving he became after that incident. And it helped me remember that God has done huge miracles in our marriage. I keep forgetting that, because Chris and I both get lazy, but I have to press back in. He came by the office shortly after I had read these texts, and I got on Facebook quickly and declined the invite from my ex. Maybe my husband will see it or maybe not, but I won't fall into that trap. And God has been reminding me again to humble myself. That I don't deserve even life and I have so much. I can't her judging Chris like he's the only one who deserves judgement. I'm still frustrated and sad, but I am going to just keep praying. God know why my heart is hurting.
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Post by pstokes522 on Aug 4, 2016 21:42:21 GMT -5
Praying for you Sharon.
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Post by marissaa91 on Aug 5, 2016 1:24:23 GMT -5
I'm glad you declined it but I'm sorry you're hurting Sharon. I understand why it hurts though. God can heal all and redeem it. And he will. Even if it doesn't feel like it, even if you don't see it, God is there. I'll keep praying.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 8, 2016 13:48:59 GMT -5
I'm sorry I keep posting, but I am so angry. We were supposed to be on a plane last night going to va to visit the family and take anniya home, but I screwed up the tickets and we ended up not leaving until tonight. Chris was kind about it yesterday, but I guess it must have sunk it today that it was a whole day of our already short 4 day trip gone. He's been cold and mean. When I pressed him about what was wrong he finally admitted he was upset about losing a day. I told him I was upset about it too (although I'm mad he couldn't ask for more time off to begin with). I screwed up and it's one of those things again where I have to do prefect or it's the end of the flipping world. I was angry because Chris is being a jerk. I told him I'm sorry I screwed up, but let's go out today somewhere fun and make the most of this day at least. He told me to go, that he's busy with his electronics trying to charge them. I told him he doesn't have to sit and watch it charge but he said he was busy and to just go so I took the kids and left (stomping and slamming doors while I went). I know that wasn't right. I was really disrespectful, but I'm so angry and upset. I can't do everything right and it's like an expectation. Even our vacation I managed to screw up. I wish I could just stop. I'm never going to be perfect and I feel like I have to be.
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Post by tkk2 on Aug 8, 2016 14:16:45 GMT -5
Hey girl.....dont beat yourself about it. We all make mistakes like that. If your tix were on Delta, it's good you didn't go today....with that whole mess today. PS....you are perfect in God's eyes!
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Post by Sharon on Aug 8, 2016 15:05:45 GMT -5
I called him to apologize for being disrespectful. He's still being cranky, but I'm just trying to chill with my kids instead and be happy.
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Post by marissaa91 on Aug 8, 2016 20:34:00 GMT -5
Hey Sharon, oddly enough I think I could relate to this but in another way. My husband and I just literally got in a huge fight. And what he kept saying (and has a few times now) is that I never seem to be happy, that he feels like I am always nagging or complaint or yelling about something. It's so crazy to me because I don't really know how to respond to that. I don't think I always do that, but then I think do I? Is it how I say it, what I say, the look on my face? Sometimes even if I recognize it and I apologize, he still holds onto it. Idk... today seems to be a weird day when it comes to that. I've just been praying for perspective and clarity. Guidance and wisdom.
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Post by Mary H on Aug 8, 2016 20:50:44 GMT -5
Sharon, ugh sister.... I remember that feeling so much.. Everything I did was wrong according to Tony when he was staying here a couple months ago..everything! The clothes I bought our kids, how I worded things, or if I made a mistake it was just terrible.. No grace, just straight condemnation all the time. It was so hard on me.. But people who are like that are actually feeling so much guilt for thier own faults and that's why they do it. Prayer closet time!! This is a spiritual battle sister.. Nothing you do or say will change anything unless your in that prayer closet praying for Chris to be healed, for u to grow in all the ways the Lords leading u to, & cast out the enemy who wants to lay snares..
Praying for you
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Post by pstokes522 on Aug 8, 2016 23:16:14 GMT -5
Sharon - you aren't perfect and you were never meant to be. If you were perfect you wouldn't need God's Grace. I know it's hard when you have small children and you want everything to be perfect. But life isn't perfect - you just rely on God and let Him lead you. It sounds to me like God was leading you to have a fun day with your family before your trip, and Chris let his expectations of perfection interfere with him enjoying the day with you. Even so, you called & apologized for being disrespectful, which is all you could do at that point. Let God handle Chris. I have so much respect for you & Mary having to stand for your marriage while also having small children. I know how hard it is in this day and age to be housewife and mother and work full time - it's hard and stressful and I didn't have marriage problems at that time (other than being a Navy wife and D being gone all the time.) so keep your chin up & your head bowed before the Lord. Give yourself a break and let God love you through it all. ~Pat
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Post by Sharon on Aug 14, 2016 1:33:36 GMT -5
Pat thank you for that reminder. I can't remember what our conversation was last week now, but I know that God was speaking through me. Chris was criticizing something I did again and I told him that I am not perfect and I never will be and he should appreciate that more then criticize it because he is not perfect either. That he would not like perfect me because it would be impossible to live with a person like that and that God made us imperfect people so that he can come and fill in the holes in our lives and hold us together as a couple. He backed down and I think that made sense to him.
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Post by william on Aug 14, 2016 16:08:20 GMT -5
Sister,
I understand where the frustration comes from in goofing up the tickets, but as I read the post the thought of this came instantly into my mind;
Is it irritating...absolutely yes, yet God doesn't make mistakes perhaps there was a reason He didn't want you on that plane / in the area / on the road at the specific time. it doesn't make it any easier but at least may give a different view point.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 16, 2016 8:28:33 GMT -5
William thank you so much for that reminder and I know you are right about that! I know that God allowed my flight to be snowed out and cancelled when I was going to Florida because Chris was being dishonest and I couldn't handle that. You are right. I have been busy with lots of small projects and thoughts but I'm going to put an update in a couple days because God has some amazing stuff in the works right now.
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