|
Post by wendyp67 on Apr 2, 2016 7:21:25 GMT -5
Last night Chris called and talk about everyday stuff. Well he sent a text which didn't go throug. He sent me a screen shot and it said " I miss you". Then he talk about he is thinking about things. I asked a few questions, especially about his porn issues. I think he still has work there. Maybe he's starting to "come to himself". I need god's decernment. I need direction. I'm afraid and don't want to leap to conclusions. Pray for us both please.
|
|
|
Post by marissaa91 on Apr 2, 2016 8:11:28 GMT -5
I'll pray for you Wendy but praise God for him showing some kind of progress! Even if it's not a lot, even of he still has things to work out, at least this is a small step in the right direction. Sometimes I think it's like that, a lot of small steps that eventually lead you to the right place. Keep strong and try not to worry or over think it! Keep your mind clear and strong! I'll be praying.
|
|
|
Post by Mary H on Apr 2, 2016 8:44:34 GMT -5
Wow! Praise God that he's moving in his heart!! Praying!
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Apr 2, 2016 10:33:25 GMT -5
Wendy, I agree with Marissa. My Chris told me before that he has to take it slow in coming back to God. It's weird, but I agree with that. I realized the other day that God will reveal a small truth to us. We will hear it, sit around and process it for a while, understand it, and then finally agree with it. And at the moment when you agree with it as a truth, God will reveal something else which builds upon that. He's not just going to come out and scream "Hey you! Repent and turn from your wicked ways!" No, he teaches us in small progressive steps so that we can understand and agree and choose to turn from our ways and follow His instead. This is hope! It is a step forward! Keep praying that God will continue to build on this and I will pray for this too!
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 3, 2016 18:57:28 GMT -5
Most of you know my story, for the last three years I have been separated from my husband. I thought he was going through depression because of the way he pulled away from not only me, but our grown kids, his dad, brother, grandmother, etc. so I was trying to give him time to get over it. We all, especially me, has had limited contact with him in three years. I found out Valentines Day that he is involved with another woman; found out the next day that he has been involved with her since before we separated. A few days after I found out, I sent him an email that I truly believe was inspired by The Holy Spirit that told him Satan was trying to destroy our family, that he had won some battles but the Victory was won by Christ. I told him that God loves him and forgives him and is waiting for him to return to Him. I told him that I loved him too, and that he needed to stop this madness and come home. He knew from my email that I knew what he was doing, so he filed for divorce. If I hadn't sent the email, I don't know how long he would have kept up this double life. With him filing for divorce, communication has opened up again. We now talk frequently, about the divorce settlement mainly, but he came to town last week for us to see the lawyer and sign some papers. We have reached the settlement agreement ourselves, and neither of us want a fight in court, so that all went smoothly. While he was here things were more relaxed between us than they have been since the separation. I sent him a text and asked him if he could come back to town so we could talk about things. Other than the email, we haven't really discussed what went wrong in our marriage, or the fact that I don't want a divorce. He had things he was having to do for work that day, but said he would come tomorrow. I really could use prayer for me to say what God wants me to say, and only what God wants me to say. I also need prayer that David hears what I say, not what Satan wants him to hear. I don't know how it will go, but he has said he wants us to be friends, so maybe he'll be receptive to listening to me. I don't know how he feels about this other woman - I'm sure he thinks he is in love with her. I'm sure I'll hear the old standard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" that seems to be the cheating spouse motto. At this point I'm sure it's true - it's kind of hard to be 'in love' with someone you never see or talk to. And I know in my heart that the other woman is not the enemy, but I do wonder what kind of woman spends over three years with a married man and just accepts things the way they have been... with his paycheck still coming into our joint account...? Anyway, I appreciate any prayers and thoughts you have. I'm really feeling attacked today - I've been crying all day. Don't know if Satan is trying to discourage me or what, because I've had a strong faith for all these years, but I'm wondering if it wouldn't be easier for us to just all move on...
|
|
|
Post by Mary H on Apr 3, 2016 19:28:33 GMT -5
Wow.. First off, I'm so sorry to know about how hard things are right now.. I'm praying did you sister! Second, can I just say, for someone who has been crying all day & going through a hard time, the Lord is still clearly with you! You seem very strong & I know that strength only comes from Him.. Have you hear of Rejoice Marriage Ministries? If not I highly recommend you google it & check out their website. Situation sounds a lot similar
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 3, 2016 20:15:24 GMT -5
I actually have been an avid follower of Rejoice Marriage Ministries since God called me to stand in April 2013. David and I separated in February 2013, and I was fine with it. I was ready to move on, took my rings off and considered myself single. In church, I was looking around and saw so many Godly men and told God that I wanted him to bring me a Godly man. A few weeks later, in the middle of a sermon, God spoke to me that he was going to bring me a Godly man, and it was going to be David. I actually argued with God for a several minutes that He misunderstood what I wanted. David and I had been married for 30 years at that point, and he was a good man, and a good husband, and a great father, but I wanted a Godly man. Someone who wanted to go to church; someone who wanted to serve at church; someone who wanted to help others; someone who wanted to be the spiritual leader of his family, instead of being the 'good ole boy life of the party.' God spoke to me that He was going to bring David back and he would be the Godly man I desired. So I did some google searches and found Rejoice Marriage Ministries. In February when I found out about the other woman, God spoke to me again that it took me by surprise, (I honestly was so naive that I thought there wasn't anyone else) BUT God knew all about the other woman when He called me to stand. So I've been trying to continue this stand. But this week has been very emotional. In 19 days, very possibly, a 36 year relationship, 33 year marriage will be over. I know in God's eyes we will still be married, and I know sometimes He has to completely break us to remake us. Right now I'm just feeling really really broken... But, tomorrow is a new day
|
|
|
Post by tkk2 on Apr 3, 2016 21:24:10 GMT -5
Praying for you. It seems the enemy is working overtime on all of us. I totally feel every word you wrote. ...its almost exactly my story but different amount of years. I felt foolish for not seeing his affair. I'm a peacekeeper. ...so my normal go to is sometimes aversion. God spoke to you clearly, as he did me. So my best advice is to stay the course and keep loving him thru it. My mind has been all over the place this weekend. ...a lot of second guessing and doubt. I have to remind myself that is Satan's tatic....doubt and divide. I'm praying god will give you the same peace i have. Stay in the word and in prayer. God bless
|
|
|
Post by tkk2 on Apr 3, 2016 21:34:56 GMT -5
I'm also praying that the holy spirit will guide your words. ...what to say, how he hears it and what not to say
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 3, 2016 22:26:02 GMT -5
Thank you TK - I'm feeling much better. God has restored peace to me tonight. Thank you all for all your prayers!
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 4, 2016 17:04:01 GMT -5
Well David never showed up today. He sent me a text about 4 o'clock saying he had a blow out yesterday & had to take care of it today. So I asked when he was coming & he said there's no reason to come go through things when he doesn't have anywhere to put it. So I told him obviously I was disappointed because I wanted to talk. He never responded to that text. I really don't know what to do. His clothes are still in the closet. His things are still sitting around the house. He's moved on I guess I need to also.
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 4, 2016 17:05:09 GMT -5
I really don't know what else to do. I fasted and prayed all weekend, crying out to a God. Does He always restore?
|
|
|
Post by Eric W. on Apr 4, 2016 17:54:00 GMT -5
I am in a minority of our group in that I have been married before. Twice before actually. And I have posted some of the details of my previous marriages on the forum here. The shortened version is I was married the first time when I was 17, divorced days after my 19th birthday. My wife was a few years older than me, and wanted children right away and I knew I wasn't ready for that, and that was a deal breaker for her. We were divorced in April and she was remarried by July (if I remember correctly, I didn't find out until much later). My 2nd marriage was for 7 years, and honestly I still don't completely know what happened. I caught her in the middle of an online cyber relationship. She left and blamed everything that could be blamed in the marriage on me. I tried to stand, but didn't really have any support to do so. (at least that I could find). I stood by myself for about a year and a half and my heart turned hard and bitter. Luckily, I had a christian boss, who was more of a mom to me than a boss, who helped me not to go completely off the rails.
I met my wife not intending a relationship more than a friend, and I quickly fell in love with her. I prayed, often that if I wasn't supposed to be there for him to steer me away. I feel like God led me to my wife, and I feel he has called me to stand for my marriage.
God forgives us for everything, if we come to him in repentance asking for his forgiveness. God, doesn't want divorce at all, but I believe he allows us to go through that in situations where both people become hard hearted. Even then, there is always a chance for God to bring back to life what once was.
If God has called you to stand, I beg you not to give up on him. Because that's what a hard heart does. It doesn't give up on your spouse, it is giving up on God being able to restore what was. That is my one regret in life, giving up on God before.
I have seen it said, God can give you three answers to a question. "Yes" . "No" . Or best of all, "Not yet." Not yet, means yes but you aren't ready to receive the blessing that is going to be poured down on you.
So, I suggest to keep praying, keep reading the Word, and see where he guides you.
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Apr 4, 2016 19:37:43 GMT -5
Well said Eric... wow... I needed to see that!
|
|
|
Post by pstokes522 on Apr 4, 2016 21:04:33 GMT -5
I'm going to continue to stand for my marriage in the sense that I will continue to wear my rings and I will continue to pray everyday for David, and as many times a day that he comes to my mind. However, I'm going to pack his clothes that are still in the closet. I'm going to pack away his stuff that he has left here. I'm going to put the pictures of us away, especially the ones on my nightstand and desk. I'm going to live my life without first checking the calendar to see if he 'might' decide to come home. He works 31 days and is off 25 days - before I commit to anything I always check to see if he's going to be home. I don't know why, he's come here 3 times in 3 years and one of those times was last week to meet with the lawyer. God told me he was going to bring David home a Godly man - he's not there yet. I'm not going to get involved with another man - for more than one reason. One, in God's eyes, & my eyes, I'm still married to David. Two is, there is no way I'm going to get involved with someone else who can hurt me this badly. But I'm not going to continue to spend my nights & weekends crying for someone who obviously cares nothing for me. Sometimes I feel like my stand is taking so much of my time and energy. I love him, I will pray for him & when God does send him home a changed man, I will welcome him home. But I will no longer let this stand control my life. I hope this makes some sense :-)
|
|