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Post by Sharon on Mar 13, 2016 20:47:45 GMT -5
I am starting to realize I am very distracted when Chris is around. I don't like to worship openly the way I do in private or even when I go to church alone. I am in my prayer closet today and Chris came to the house to do homework on his computer in the basement, but I have been distracted about praying the way I need to, because I keep thinking he will come walking in. When he sees me praying and worshiping like this, he tends to laugh at me. I don't think he's intending to be rude. I think he's extremely immature in his walk with God and so he gets awkward when he sees someone in true surrender. It is truly immaturity (he gets the same way when I kiss him too much and in many other adult situations).
The praise is that I was sitting in the corner of my prayer room and trying so hard to focus on God and not be distracted by the idea of my husband walking in. I just closed my eyes and was praying and singing and I was able to block out the idea of him walking in. And I felt God's presence come into the room and come sit with me. It was very real and overwhelming. I just want to stay focused.
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 13, 2016 22:16:08 GMT -5
I understand the distraction thing but you have to move past it. When I find myself thinking of those things I pray "Lord help me keep my eyes on you. Let everything and everyone fade away."
It helps!
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Post by Sharon on Mar 14, 2016 7:36:57 GMT -5
Thank you Marissa! This all goes along with the same thing I have been having issues with - that I can't share my alone time with God with anyone. Chris left yesterday and I was getting ready to pray again when he texted and asked if he could stay the night with me. I told him if he joined me for my praise and prayers he could stay so he came back and we read Romans 8 together and discussed that and I was able to talk about Gods grace and mercy - that he doesn't have to be angry at himself because God has forgiven him and he can turn it around and desire to follow God. We listened to some music and prayed together. He was surprised - he thought I was going to put on the pastors sermon today, but I have realized he doesn't know how to pray or praise or read the Bible. He needs to be involved in the process with God. I told him there is no excuse to not spend some time with God each day and asked if he would start doing this with me each day. He didn't fully commit to that, but it was extremely hopeful.
Guys a seed has been planted in Chris's heart. Please pray that it would be watered and it would flourish. And pray for me that I can be a witness and help him to grow a desire of Christ.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 14, 2016 8:22:35 GMT -5
Praying Sharon!
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 14, 2016 9:59:35 GMT -5
That is a great request to ask for in order for him to stay! I'll have to do that with my husband! How wise of you! I'm praying!
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Post by Sharon on Mar 15, 2016 8:03:35 GMT -5
God is amazing and has been speaking through me the last few days. Chris and I had a chance to talk yesterday and he was saying he wanted to come home again. I told him that I didn't believe he would have enough motivation and he told me that he is miserable. He's missing me and missing the kids and he hates feeling so left out. Besides all that, he said that I am different then I was. He has seen how much God has changed my heart and he recognizes that he's not taking advantage of me anymore, he's fighting against God. That I have been relentless when he asks night after night to come back to the house and I tell him again and again no. I know it has only been a week, but in 7 years together, I've never said no to this man, so to hear it for a straight week is an accomplishment for me. God has been working so rapidly in Chris since I stepped aside and let him take control. Chris told me he is jealous of me. That I can quote bible verses off the top of my head and he sees a real loving relationship between me and God and he wishes he could have that. Just the fact that he acknowledged that desire was a huge deal. He begged me to let him come back to the house and said that he can't figure out who God is on his own. He wants to sit down with me Monday, Wednesday, Fridays and learn about God. He recognizes that he's met the minimum - Know Jesus is God and he died for our sins and rose - but he truly wants more then that. I told him I am going out on a limb and trusting him when he doesn't deserve my trust. He said I have been unwavering this week and he doesn't want to take advantage of me again. He knows he caused his own troubles and he wants to learn how to have a fire for Christ. He wants me to go slowly with him - he makes a good point that I've always tried to rush and shove God in his face and he doesn't really know the basics. It's like trying to teach me to do a backflip. He's been doing them all this life, but he can't tell me to do one and I can just do it. I have to practice and make time for that each day. I also can't just tell him to love God and boom he loves God. He has to practice and be in Gods word and he doesn't know where to start. I agreed to help him and told him he could come home, but I won't listen to excuses about how he doesn't have time for God. I told him I would be considerate of his schedule, but he needs to make the time for God and he agreed. God is so good and is doing miracles here in my house. I am so grateful that he's working rapidly too. God knows how I am, that I can be very very strong and stubborn, but that I lose my resolve and He's giving me grace and helping me through that too. Please continue to pray for Chris and he is starting his real walk with Christ, that he would discover a love and passion for Him and that this seed would be watered and fertilized.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 15, 2016 8:45:38 GMT -5
One thing that really stood out from our conversation I wanted to share. Chris said he didn't want to be away from me for long because he would start to feel like he didn't need me. I told him that he doesn't need me and I don't need him. He and I both only need God. He said well even if he doesn't need me, he doesn't want to lose me and he doesn't want to be gone so long that he believes that. I told him that if I lose him and because of that he gains his soul, I am willing to do that. That made a huge impact on him. He suddenly saw my love for him differently and he told me he wants a relationship with God like that - that he is enough for him and the blessings he gives us are all blessings.
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 15, 2016 8:56:36 GMT -5
What a blessing! Amen! Glad to hear this praise Sharon! That is amazing!
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 15, 2016 9:08:10 GMT -5
Praise be to God!!!
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Post by Eric W. on Mar 15, 2016 9:47:32 GMT -5
Amen! Awesome to hear.
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Post by tkk2 on Mar 15, 2016 13:16:11 GMT -5
Yea! God is great! Love to hear the good happening!
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Post by william on Mar 15, 2016 17:05:43 GMT -5
Amen sister, God is good and working miracles!!
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Post by Mary H on Mar 15, 2016 21:16:21 GMT -5
Praise God!
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