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Post by wendyp67 on Mar 11, 2016 22:43:35 GMT -5
I feel the same. It was hard at first when Chris moved out. But now I see clearly how I need to come back to God. Also I know it takes it out of my hands, not like it ever was, and l give him to God. It's god's job not mine. I am a fixer. I can't fix him only God can.
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erika
Junior Member
Posts: 81 
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Post by erika on Mar 12, 2016 0:43:39 GMT -5
Don't worry Mary, God will use this for good. God knows your heart and situation, something great will come out of this. I understand what you're going thru, I had a huge fight with my husband last week, he blew up because I wouldn't let him keep my new car at his place overnight, even though he has his own new car. I told him that I didn't trust his so called friends,those friends that want to keep my husband high all the time, he wasn't happy about it, he told me that he didn't understand why God would bless me and not him ( when my husband left, he took our brand new car with him and left me with a car that wasn't so reliable but God was so good to me and made it possible for me to get a brand new car, a much nicer car than the one my husband took). After all the mean things he said to me that night, i told him, I was tired of everything and he was free to do whatever he wanted to do. When I got home I remember telling God, that I was tired of standing for my marriage, at that same time I got a notification saying "God will use this for good" and He did, my husband came in that night and apologized for what he said, he even talked about staying for good, I know God is working on my husband but I can't give up on him. Sorry for the long text !!! Mary I know your husband will come back and he will be the husband/ father he needs to be, I'm going to pray for you.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 12, 2016 9:06:52 GMT -5
That's awesome Erica!
I'm so glad he came back and talked reasonably with you!!
Last night Tony & I had a fight.. I remained peaceful & kind, but that always upsets him more.. I he demanded that I leave the room or he will leave.. I stood up crying & I told him I will leave the room, but I know he wants to be a good husband & dad, & I know he wants to get right with God.. He just kept saying whatever.. I asked him about the long text he sent me about wanting me to keep praying for him & that the demon of pride has a hold of you... He told me to shut up & demanded that I leave the room... I just cried... It was so hard.. I later went in there to kiss his check seek & tell him I love him.. He said I love u too.. I couldn't sleep so I came back in there later but he ignored me.. It's so confusing... He said he's only home for our kids & diesnt want to be with me.. Satan is a liar.. Plz pray
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 12, 2016 10:26:45 GMT -5
He's just saying that because he's hurt and angry right now. God will work on his attitude and hurtful words. I've been praying for that and will continue to.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 12, 2016 12:21:36 GMT -5
When I am kind and peaceful, Chris always gets angry too. It's heaping burning coals on his head. He knows he's the one to blame for the constant issues and he wants to blame you, but you have to forgive yourself for your part because God has forgiven you and Tony will have to forgive himself too and accept Gods grace. For him, that will take longer. For sure for Chris it is taking longer. When I claim things like that over Chris too - that he is a good husband and dad he just ignores me or also says whatever when he is angry. Again, it's a tactic to try to blame you for his problems. That is the enemy lying to you. When he tells you to shut up and leave, he is being defensive of the enemy. The enemy is using him as his tool and so right now, he thinks he's on the enemies side and you're attacking him, because you're on God's side. You're the enemy. I also tend to want to go back and talk again and again to Chris when we have a fight, but I have recently realized that is me looking to Chris for my comfort. Remember Sacred Influence - the first chapter he talks about how the wife's desire is for her husband and how that desire is almost like a disease, it is that powerful. You want comfort from your husband, but for men, that desire is not so great. You have to reject that desire in moments like that and go to God for your comfort. You can't let your husband have that much control of you and your emotions while he is being influenced by the enemy. Guard your heart sister
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Post by Sharon on Mar 12, 2016 12:41:06 GMT -5
Ephesians 5:22-29 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church
This verse was very helpful to me when I began my stand. Wives submit to your husbands is not just a calling for us. God is telling us to do the hardest thing we could possibly do. Women in their sin nature do not want to submit to their husbands. They know better and their husbands make terrible decisions that impact them and their family. We do not want to submit and it is very hard for us to do. That is why God calls us to do it, to become servants that help and influence their husbands because we respect them, and so they will in turn respect us. I misinterpreted that verse when I was in sin and decided to follow my husband because I thought I was submitting and I went into sin with him. That is wrong. We follow our husbands and submit while they are following God. When they are not following God, our submission is to God, but we are still to be respectful and loving, to not be rude or selfish, and to allow them to work through their own bad ideas on their own. That is why sometimes we have to allow our husbands to make their own terrible mistakes. If we tell them I don't think that is a good idea, but I will trust you with this and they see it blow up in their face, they recognize your wisdom. It also says husbands are to love their wives as they love themselves. For husbands, that is the most difficult thing God could ask men to do. They want to be selfish and follow after their own desires and to put themselves aside for someone else - that is almost impossible. Without God it definitely is.
I am bringing this up, because this is our desire for our marriage and it starts with one person, not both. It is really hard to submit to your husband while he is in sin, but letting him make his decisions and trusting that God is going to take care of you is a good way to start.
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 12, 2016 13:42:28 GMT -5
There is so much wisdom in what you wrote Sharon! You're right. I think submission has always been my hardest battle. I'm very independent and depending on someone else to take care of me and have influence on my life is hard. So Tha k you for the reminder. And Mary, I know how you feel. I'm there too right now. But we must have faith that God is moving even when we don't see it with our natural eyes. We must humble ourselves and ask God to change us first so that we can be better influences to them.
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