Post by Sharon on May 9, 2018 18:36:25 GMT -5
I’m struggling! I know that seems stupid considering all the amazing things happening, but I am not ready! Wow really?! Did you ever think I would say that?
I am afraid of this hope and I should be joyful. I am afraid though. I don’t want to go back to how things used to be. I don’t want to lose my intimacy with God. These last 8 months, God has become my husband and I love Him! I’m afraid of falling away from the intimacy with Him. I am afraid of Chris. I want terribly to trust him and I don’t. I just don’t. I have a ton of stuff to work through emotionally - especially trusting and controlling tendencies. I’m not ready.
Help guys. I want so badly to be joyful in this hope, but all I am doing is letting the enemy scare me. I’m waiting for the break to happen where he falls over and says “Just kidding I found another new not girlfriend”. God keeps telling me to be still. That’s give up control. Stand my ground. Keep my feet solidly on Christ. Love unconditionally and regardless of how others treat me. To forgive and love anyways. And to trust the Lord. And this fear is interfering! It’s the grind again!
God instead of analyzing anything, help me to ask “Is this in alignment with your word and your will?” And if the answer is no, give me the strength to walk away and if the answer is yes, give me the strength to do it. But regardless, help me to keep my eyes off of this and keep them on you. My joy!
Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. — Galatians 6:9 ESV
Why are you worrying again what people think? Remember what you’ve learned in all this?! YOU are Christ’s bride! His beloved daughter! So what difference does it make what anyone else does with their life, says, or thinks?! What matters is what God is doing. He loves you. He wants joy for you.
The grind - the deep set desire to meet expectations and fulfill roles placed on you by others
Lord, the only expectations I want to meet are yours. And your expectations are these - Be still (quiet the grind), stand your ground (on the Lord - your rock and foundation), love (regardless), and trust in the Lord.
I am afraid of this hope and I should be joyful. I am afraid though. I don’t want to go back to how things used to be. I don’t want to lose my intimacy with God. These last 8 months, God has become my husband and I love Him! I’m afraid of falling away from the intimacy with Him. I am afraid of Chris. I want terribly to trust him and I don’t. I just don’t. I have a ton of stuff to work through emotionally - especially trusting and controlling tendencies. I’m not ready.
Help guys. I want so badly to be joyful in this hope, but all I am doing is letting the enemy scare me. I’m waiting for the break to happen where he falls over and says “Just kidding I found another new not girlfriend”. God keeps telling me to be still. That’s give up control. Stand my ground. Keep my feet solidly on Christ. Love unconditionally and regardless of how others treat me. To forgive and love anyways. And to trust the Lord. And this fear is interfering! It’s the grind again!
God instead of analyzing anything, help me to ask “Is this in alignment with your word and your will?” And if the answer is no, give me the strength to walk away and if the answer is yes, give me the strength to do it. But regardless, help me to keep my eyes off of this and keep them on you. My joy!
Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. — Galatians 6:9 ESV
Why are you worrying again what people think? Remember what you’ve learned in all this?! YOU are Christ’s bride! His beloved daughter! So what difference does it make what anyone else does with their life, says, or thinks?! What matters is what God is doing. He loves you. He wants joy for you.
The grind - the deep set desire to meet expectations and fulfill roles placed on you by others
Lord, the only expectations I want to meet are yours. And your expectations are these - Be still (quiet the grind), stand your ground (on the Lord - your rock and foundation), love (regardless), and trust in the Lord.