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Post by Adrienne on Feb 26, 2018 9:48:16 GMT -5
I made a stupid mistake this morning. I snooped a little when I should have just left well enough alone, and saw a weird charge on G's bank account. It freaked me out so I decided to ask him about it instead of just stewing in my doubts. But... he had actually already told me about it and in that moment of distrust, I completely forgot what that he had explained it to me last week.
Now I'm fighting the instinct to send him a barrage of "I'm sorry" texts - because I know he hates it when I snoop. (But he also hates it when I apologize a ton, particularly since it's over text and he's at work). So far, I've resisted the urge to do a text avalanche and just sent him one calm "sorry for forgetting" text. Also, I did have a semi-good reason to snoop, because we are having some financial challenges and I was working out how to adjust our credit cards for an upcoming expense... so I briefly explained that earlier in the conversation, when he asked why I looked. (And praise God, I found a great solution that will really help us out!)
This seems so small but it is really getting under my skin! The problem is that I always struggle with this type of thing. When I make mistakes, even small ones, it drives me crazy and makes me feel so insecure. I know we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. I just worry that he'll put this on a list of reasons we shouldn't be together rather than having grace.
Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with insecurity like this in a godly way? And how to focus more on the good things - God's blessings - instead of our mistakes?
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Post by tkk2 on Feb 27, 2018 3:26:07 GMT -5
I made a stupid mistake this morning. I snooped a little when I should have just left well enough alone, and saw a weird charge on G's bank account. It freaked me out so I decided to ask him about it instead of just stewing in my doubts. But... he had actually already told me about it and in that moment of distrust, I completely forgot what that he had explained it to me last week. Now I'm fighting the instinct to send him a barrage of "I'm sorry" texts - because I know he hates it when I snoop. (But he also hates it when I apologize a ton, particularly since it's over text and he's at work). So far, I've resisted the urge to do a text avalanche and just sent him one calm "sorry for forgetting" text. Also, I did have a semi-good reason to snoop, because we are having some financial challenges and I was working out how to adjust our credit cards for an upcoming expense... so I briefly explained that earlier in the conversation, when he asked why I looked. (And praise God, I found a great solution that will really help us out!) This seems so small but it is really getting under my skin! The problem is that I always struggle with this type of thing. When I make mistakes, even small ones, it drives me crazy and makes me feel so insecure. I know we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. I just worry that he'll put this on a list of reasons we shouldn't be together rather than having grace. Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with insecurity like this in a godly way? And how to focus more on the good things - God's blessings - instead of our mistakes? Adrienne, sister, take heart....each day is a new day to try and get it right. Your trust is still broken, and that is understandable. I think we all struggle with trust. I love your totally calm text response....hopefully G noticed too. God is working. Ask the Lord for a sign....something you can turn to in times if insecurity. Something that when you see it, it lifts your heart and reminds you that God is at work. For me, its deer. The Lord originally gave me a lame deer, which was sitting down near the road behind our house. That was my very first confirmation to "be still" and let God. Now, i see deer on days where I'm discouraged, doubting etc....its always in the exact right moment that i need hope. Im praying for you. |
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Post by pstokes522 on Feb 27, 2018 8:57:36 GMT -5
Adrienne - don’t focus on getting yourself right with G - you need to focus on getting yourself right with God. You’ve offered G an explanation and a calm, heartfelt apology. That’s all you need to do - leave the rest up to God. He’s the only one that can change G’s heart. For you to continue to feel insecure and let little mistakes drive you crazy, to me, indicates that you’re focusing too much on the wrong thing. Or better yet, the wrong one. Focus your prayers, your apologies and your praises to God. He alone is the one who can put your heart at ease. He alone can give you peace. You’ve said previously that you’ve been busy and need to get back to daily time with God. Do that. He’s calling you, summoning you to draw near to Him. Recognize Him and what He can do for you - give you His peace.
Praying for you and all my brothers and sisters who use this forum to seek God and offer each other encouragement.
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Post by Sharon on Feb 27, 2018 11:48:31 GMT -5
I completely understand how you are feeling, because I always felt bad and guilty after making what I considered a mistake and then would try to go back and fix it and end up digging myself in. My advice is take this to God and lay it down at the cross, say “Lord, you can handle this better than me so I am giving you control of this.” And walk away from it. Forgive yourself and move on. Do not bring it up to G again or apologize to him about it again. He might add it to the list of grievances, but no amount of apologizing will remove what G wants to be offended by. And it’s not your job to change his heart remember? Sister, I’m going to be frank. The Bible tells us that love keeps no record of wrongs. You should expect G to forgive you and move on if he truly loves you and you should start immediately living as if you have been forgiven, regardless of how G is feeling. If he brings it up again, tell him you apologized and sincerely regret snooping and apologize again, and then again lay it down at the cross and walk away. G doesn’t control you. You control you and you carry only what you choose to carry. Christ died to forgive you so who are you or who is G to say that you should carry this sin on your own shoulders? You don’t get to pick and choose what Christ forgave you for. He forgave you for it all, so you need to drop this at his feet, repent, and try harder. But let this one go
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 5, 2018 16:59:06 GMT -5
Thank you friends for your encouragement. Lately I have been reminded and humbled once again. "Eyes on God." He will keep reminding me until I pay attention and follow through... Guide me please, my Lord.
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