Post by Sharon on Feb 16, 2018 11:02:12 GMT -5
God had told me this crossroad would come. I just didn't realize how appealing it would look.
When God made those promises to me - restoration and a ministry vs. another joy filled marriage I told God "restoration and ministry! Hands down! Thanks God!" And I meant it.
I just met someone. His name is Steve and he is a man of God. Overflowing with the Spirit. And compared to Chris who is so deep in the world and overwhelmed with demonic influence. Well, you can understand why I am attracted to him. Problems guys!
1. I am not divorced yet. This desire for him is adultery right?!
2. If I get off here and start following a new relationship, I forfeit restoration. I forfeit the ministry. I know God will bless a new marriage, but I am giving up on His plans for me.
3. God put it to me like this - I am attracted to the Holy Spirit in the man, but God is asking me to choose between a God filled man and essentially Himself. He made promises and I have to have faith and trust that His promises are true. I'm deep in doubt and faithlessness and following another man, even a God filled man, while God said he would bless it, was not his original plan for all of this. Am I doing what I did before and making an idol out of a man?
But guys, it is so tempting. He is attractive. He is so full of the Spirit. He is divorced with his own daughter. He loves God first. He and I have so much in common. I explained my whole dilemma to him. Chris, when I told him I was talking to someone else, was hostile, evil, and angry towards me. When I talked to Steve about Gods promises of restoration, he encouraged me to pray. Said that he would pray too. Told me that he would pray Gods will be done, but "God please let this be your will." I mean we have only been talking for 3 days, but he sees my value in Christ and in life and he is attracted to that. I am so conflicted. I want this man so badly and I want the suffering to stop. But then again
4. This is me taking things into my own hands too.
I know what God called me to do. I just don't want to do it anymore. I want the contingency plan and I didn't realize how badly I would want it when he made these promises to me. I was sure, by now, that I had gone through the worst of it and I was strong and faithful enough to handle this. But now all I want to do is give up on Chris and fall in love with this new guy Steve. God help me pursue you and do what you want me to do. I don't believe truly though that either option is a sinful or a bad choice. I just know that one leads to greater blessing than the other.
When God made those promises to me - restoration and a ministry vs. another joy filled marriage I told God "restoration and ministry! Hands down! Thanks God!" And I meant it.
I just met someone. His name is Steve and he is a man of God. Overflowing with the Spirit. And compared to Chris who is so deep in the world and overwhelmed with demonic influence. Well, you can understand why I am attracted to him. Problems guys!
1. I am not divorced yet. This desire for him is adultery right?!
2. If I get off here and start following a new relationship, I forfeit restoration. I forfeit the ministry. I know God will bless a new marriage, but I am giving up on His plans for me.
3. God put it to me like this - I am attracted to the Holy Spirit in the man, but God is asking me to choose between a God filled man and essentially Himself. He made promises and I have to have faith and trust that His promises are true. I'm deep in doubt and faithlessness and following another man, even a God filled man, while God said he would bless it, was not his original plan for all of this. Am I doing what I did before and making an idol out of a man?
But guys, it is so tempting. He is attractive. He is so full of the Spirit. He is divorced with his own daughter. He loves God first. He and I have so much in common. I explained my whole dilemma to him. Chris, when I told him I was talking to someone else, was hostile, evil, and angry towards me. When I talked to Steve about Gods promises of restoration, he encouraged me to pray. Said that he would pray too. Told me that he would pray Gods will be done, but "God please let this be your will." I mean we have only been talking for 3 days, but he sees my value in Christ and in life and he is attracted to that. I am so conflicted. I want this man so badly and I want the suffering to stop. But then again
4. This is me taking things into my own hands too.
I know what God called me to do. I just don't want to do it anymore. I want the contingency plan and I didn't realize how badly I would want it when he made these promises to me. I was sure, by now, that I had gone through the worst of it and I was strong and faithful enough to handle this. But now all I want to do is give up on Chris and fall in love with this new guy Steve. God help me pursue you and do what you want me to do. I don't believe truly though that either option is a sinful or a bad choice. I just know that one leads to greater blessing than the other.
