God is moving and it is good

I had another strange day yesterday. Chris had asked on Saturday if he could spend the night in the basement so he could come to church the next morning. I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea and he agreed that I was right. Although I want him to stay in the basement forever and actually in my bed and tell me he loves me and never hurt me ever again...I'm getting carried away lol. I can't be responsible for his relationship with me, his kids, or God. Truthfully, if he wants to see the kids and have a relationship with God, he will do it whether he sleeps the night in my basement or not. And I don't want any ideas forming in his head, so the right answer was no. I suggested he come to church Sunday and see the kids after and he said he would do that.
Well Sunday came and went and he never showed up or called. Around 6, I finally texted and nothing. I tried called, nothing. I waited an hour and called and texted again, nothing. I called his mom to see when she talked to him and it had been a day. I asked her to call him, nothing. She started panicking and honestly I did too. It's unlike him to not show up to see his kids and not even call or text. I contacted some of his friends. His mom called his sisters. So many phone calls and texts to him all came back nothing. Finally his mom asked me to drive up. I didn't. I called the non emergency police line and asked them to do a welfare check. They went by the apartment and said he didn't answer the door and didn't sound like anyone was home. Everyone was panicked, praying. As I'm on the phone with his mom, 5 hours of this panic, suddenly he calls. I told her it's him on the other line and answered. He apologized again and again, said he felt so bad. He forgot he was coming to see the kids and he fell asleep early with his phone on silent. I was crying. I told him okay call his mom and he cleared everything up with everyone, including a chief at the Air Force. I guess one of his buddies had called them. He called me back after all the crazy and we talked for a while. At the end of it all, he asked me to tell the kids that I love them. I told him I would. Then he said he loves me too. I said what? He said he loves me too again. I told him I love him too, choking back tears. We got off the phone.
He called me again today. He's getting a flight to va to see his family for Christmas. We talked for almost 2 hours. A lot of chit chat, some real conversation. He asked me if I would go to a movie with him. I said I would, but it is a date. He said call it what I like. I said no, we have to be clear about what it is. He said he doesn't consider it a date. I told h okay, well if another guy wants to go to a movie with me is that a date? (He doesn't know by the way that I have been chatting with this nice guy, divorced with 3 kids. He wanted to take me on a date Saturday, but I told him no. My divorce isn't final yet and I can't date when I am married). He said yes, if I go to a movie with someone that's a date. So I asked why isn't it a date between me and him? He said because he is different. I said no, he's not. If we are going alone somewhere, for me it's a date and we have to be in the same mind space together before I can do that. He was telling me how lonely and bored he is again. I told him his wife and family is supposed to be who keeps him company. He said yes. I told him well that's a commitment. Again yes, but it's worth that. I told him I don't think he's ready for the commitment and he brushed it off. He's not there yet.

I'm not even going to really try to process all this. I have finally gotten into this place with the Lord that I don't have to know the plan. I actually don't have to! As long as I am asking for Gods guidance and wisdom and inviting him "into the boat" with me, wherever this goes, I know God is in control. I'm done trying to make this or that happen. Yeah...I'd love to go on a date with Chris. I'd love him to come home. To be changed. To have a heart full of the love of the Lord. But the way I see it now is that Chris is dry bones that God has attached flesh and tendon and skin to. He looks like a fully formed man, but the Lord hasn't breathed the life into him yet. He is looking good and he's taking shape, but the Spirit hasn't filled him yet. I don't want a lifeless frame anymore. I want the man of God that God has planned. I can't wait to see that man come to life.

Lord, breathe life into him. Make these dry bones come to life. Amen