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Post by Adrienne on Dec 21, 2017 22:54:34 GMT -5
Thanks for posting, Sharon!! I got sick earlier this week and have been sleeping a ton, so I ended up totally flopping on week 2, oops, sorry! I will start chapter 4 tomorrow. Are you behind too? Maybe we can just bump week 2 of the study to next week so things don't get backed up... What do you think?
God bless you, chica! I encourage you to keep praying and seeking out God's will <3
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Post by Sharon on Dec 22, 2017 9:12:47 GMT -5
Yeah Adrienne, I think moving week 2 is a good idea. Girl I got sick too! Lol but worse Christian is sick and he's 5 now....you know how difficult guys are when they are sick and Christian is no exception so I been busy with him lol. Thx for being patient and I'll post next Tuesday for week 2!
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Post by Adrienne on Dec 22, 2017 10:26:20 GMT -5
Great, Sharon, thanks for understanding! I"m sorry you and Christian have been sick! Hopefully he feels better soon. I'll be praying for you guys :-)
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Post by Adrienne on Dec 27, 2017 18:11:10 GMT -5
Hello, Sharon, and everyone! We took a week off and this week is off to a slow start - Christmas is always a busy time but I hope everyone had a very merry one and that you all had time to reflect on God's amazing gift to us in the form of Jesus our Savior <3 And as for hte study, better late than never, right??  I enjoyed Chapter 4 of Uninvited. The topic - feeling alone in a crowded room - is one that I really identify with, because I am a major introvert and often feel insecure when I'm in a group of more than three people. I'm praying that I can really hang on to the teachings in this chapter and apply them in my life. Right now I am not spending much of any time with people since I"m on break from school but I'll just have to re-read this chapter here in a few weeks  As I consider how to apply the teachings to my daily life, however, the video on day two of the study is helpful, since it breaks it down into steps. I have to remember to take that pause and reflect on who I am in God, and what God's purpose is for me in that "crowded room." Below I will paste my reflections from Day 3 of this week, the blog titled "To Grab or to Grasp" (link: proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies/uninvited/blog/post/2017/09/29/to-grab-or-to-grasp), which focuses on Chapter 4 of Uninvited. Please note (in the Bible section) that I'd love to dialogue more about that verse from Ecclesiastes if anyone is interested! *Observe — What are the things you’re grabbing for instead of grasping for God?
• I grab for my husband’s time and affection. I often gauge my “happiness” and “satisfaction” based on much time together and intimacy we’ve shared lately, when instead I should be much more concerned with how much intimate time I’ve shared with God! • I also grab for my studies. I prioritize school and “grab” for positive feedback (on my teaching and on my research)… I often consider myself to be “successful” only if I’m on par with what others in my program are doing / have done. So I often get fearful in that “crowded room” because rather than focusing on my identity in God, I’m scoping out the “competition” and imagining their negative thoughts about me! • Another thing I grab for is meaningless time-fillers. I watch TV, I browse the internet, I sleep late (I’ve been doing all these extra lately because I’m on holiday break and therefore am not teaching)… I distract myself so that I don’t have to confront the holes in the way I see myself. But really, I should be striving to use those empty moments to grow closer to God and work towards a better vision of who I am in Him – something that I know will only come with time spent in prayer, worship, and the word. *Bible — Read Ecclesiastes 1:14 and Ephesians 3:14-19. How do these verses provide HOPE to encourage you to grasp instead of grab?
• “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 1:14) ---- Hmm, I’m not sure of how to respond to this verse: I always struggle some with Ecclesiastes!! Does anybody else have any enlightening thoughts? The only thing I can think is that I guess a lot of what we do is meaningless if we do it for the wrong reasons, or with the wrong motivations in mind. For example, it’s all well and good to go to church, but if we’re not going to really invest in the worship and study – if we’re allowing ourselves to be distracted – then the experience isn’t going to be nearly as meaningful as it is intended to be. I think this verse could also probably speak to my last point above in “observe”… Are we choosing to fill our time with meaningless activities and our minds with meaningless thoughts, or are we dedicating ourselves to God’s “meaningful” for us: a relationship with Him and a firm footing in His love for us? • “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:14-19) ---- This verse seems to resonate well with the message in Chapter 3: we need to continue leaning into God and looking to Him to be able to “live loved,” to live in a full understanding of how much He loves us, and to base our identity and way of living on that truth, rather than on our fears/insecurities. In terms of “grasping” rather than “grabbing,” it’s a continued reminder that I need to look to Him for my sense of self, and my joy in life, rather than looking to my relationships with others (like my husband) or to my “success” in my chosen pursuits (like school). *Stretch — As you go through the rest of this week, watch for what you’re grabbing for to be fulfilled. If it’s something/someone other than God, PAUSE, and then reflect on the treasures you’ve collected to help you GRASP for God instead.
• During the rest of this week, I want to work harder to make intentional God time beyond this Bible Study. I’ve been in a rut for a long time and decided to start this study as a way of getting back into the groove of seeking out time with God. Now it’s been a few weeks and I would like to initiate some other steps to spend time in His presence. I know this will help prevent me from grabbing at those meaningless time-fillers and help me really dig into the problems of how I am seeing myself and my identity - I want to replace those lies/labels/lines with God's truth! • I also want to continue praying and reflecting on how I am relating to my husband. I want to be able to truthfully say that God is first on my priority list, not my husband, but I know that’s something that I’m still working on. (I would appreciate prayers in both of these areas!) Sharon, I look forward to hearing (reading, hehe) your thoughts on Chapter 4. I continue in prayer for you sister and hope that the study is continuing to serve you well! |
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Post by Sharon on Dec 28, 2017 2:34:39 GMT -5
So I kind of flew off the handle and didn't do the actual study questions this week because oh my gosh. Chapter 4 was so amazing that I just wanted to share my notes about it! Sorry Adrienne...I know you crave consistency, but we're learning that it doesn't always work that way with the Lord! Lol
"Yes, there was problem. But the problem wasn't the people at the party...It was me or being prepared in advance with a fullness that can only come from God." "I can't expect any other person to be my soul oxygen." "No person is equipped to be the constant lifeline to another." "Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise...'My needs and desires deserve to tap into or possibly even deplete yours.'"
Thank you God for pouring out this conviction and revelation to me. I have been so needy. I told Chris for years, even up until he left, that I recognized that he was an idol for me. I expected him to pour into me and fill all my needs. Eventually he became depleted. Truthfully, a marriage can not work like that! When one persons desires and needs drain the other and the other persons desires and needs drain right back. All you end up doing is sucking each other dry. No. God is and always has been the waterfall pouring out His love and we just have to stop and dwell under it to be filled. And when we are filled, it will naturally spill out of us and into those around us. I don't ever need Chris or anyone else to pour into me when God is already pouring! And for anyone around me, the overflow just becomes a blessing which in turn blesses me. "Do I walk into situations prepared with the fullness of God in me, free to look for ways to bless others?"
The other part I love is when she talks about telling our flesh no. Oh Lord, I struggle! "The more full of the flesh we are, the more we grab at anyone and anything to fill that ache for love and acceptance." I get it God. Chris was empty for me. He couldn't continue to try to fill my needs. And I was empty for him. I was tired of feeling like I poured all of me out for him. I don't want to be full of him anymore. I want to be full of you. "If we grasp the full love of Christ, we won't grab at other things to fill us." "All these things we're tempted to grab at? They won't fill us the way we think they will. In the end, they only make us feel emptier and more rejected." "If we live rooted and established in His love, we don't just have knowledge of His love in our minds, but it becomes a reality that anchors us. Though winds of hurt and rejection blow, they cannot uproot us and rip us apart." "The more we fully invite God in, the less we feel Uninvited by others."
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Post by Sharon on Dec 28, 2017 2:58:07 GMT -5
Chapter 5 was amazing too. Sorry I skipped a bit ahead Adrienne! I will go back and do study questions I promise! Lol
"With God there is fullness. There is no lack. Nothing can be added or subtracted with human acceptance or rejection. With the fullness of God, we are free to let humans be humans." This really spoke to me and I know God is testing me in this right now. To see how full I really am. And I know I am full, because this week has been full of challenges and struggles. Chris trying so hard to push against me. I told you all about the obedience thing - I felt God challenge me to invite Chris home regardless of his response. And his response wasn't amazing, but it doesn't matter. God is going to use it and I am moving on, knowing that I am still fully loved. Today too, Chris and I talked and he said he was going out. I said "with your boys?" And he said "yes....and with girls too." I laughed and said "well that's your business isn't it!" And I actually meant it! I mean I would love for him to NOT go with those women. I would love for him to just come home and spend time with me and his kids, but what he does doesn't change the fact that God loves me and I am full of his love! "The Lord is my helper, so I have no fear. What can mere people do to me?" I know that God is fighting my battles for me and I don't have to be in control of this. God is in control!
"The peace of our souls does not rise and fall with unpredictable people or situations...People do affect us. But the peace of our souls is tethered to all that God is. And though we can't predict His specific plans, the fact that God will work everything together for good is a completely predictable promise."
"How tragic that when we chase something in this world, we're actually running away from the stable trust and secure life our souls long for the most."
Chris is unable to keep me full. I shouldn't have expected him to be able to. He never can, because that is Gods job! I can never keep him full either, because that is Gods job. He tried me, his kids, he's trying other women, new jobs, new things, partying, friends. It makes me sad for him, because I found the source of fullness and joy. And he's wasting time still looking. God please keep leading your son to the source of fullness and joy. Lead him to you Lord.
"Gods love and goodness are something we can absolutely count on to be there with us...to follow us."
The prayer at the end of this chapter was amazing. I intend to write it out in my prayer journal and pray it often. Thank you God for this study and for teaching us how to live in the fullness of your love.
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Post by Adrienne on Dec 28, 2017 23:46:05 GMT -5
Hey Sharon! Thanks for posting! You do your thing, girl - I do indeed love structure so I find it easier to follow along with the plan and the reflections and study questions but I am so thrilled to see you connecting with God through this study, and I am delighted to share the experience with you in whatever way works best for each of us :-)
I am also inspired by your more spontaneous reflection. I struggle with this, because I am overly accustomed to reading to summarize or reading just to shake out the main points, as it were - because I study literature as a career, I'm good at identifying the skeleton of a given text, but then when I read something God-related I often get stuck in that analytical aspect and don't just bask in the meaning of what I've read. You know what I mean?
So tonight, I wanted to pop in and say: y'all, I've just had an "Uninvited moment" and it feels like a big deal to me. Let me share, and forgive me because I'm naturally wordy.
Here's the background: G grew up in Latin America in a very poor family and they didn't have much access to dental care (he says he remembers going to the dentist once as a kid), and they don't really educate about how to take care of your teeth well or value that much. So lately he has had a TON of dental problems pop up out of the woodworks. This stuff is expensive (think $thousands$...) and time-consuming and worry-inducing and just detail-oriented: there's all these informational tidbits about the actual dental problems and the procedures to fix them, there are appointments to arrange, and phone calls to the insurance people, and comparing dentists, and antibiotics to get filled and then remember to take, etc. And I always go to the dentist with him because although he speaks pretty good English, sometimes there are questions he forgets or doesn't think to ask, or he doesn't understand some things they say, etc... I just want to make sure he's getting the best care possible, ya know!
Sooo, anyway, moving on to the point of this... the whole experience has brought us closer together because I've had the opportunity to care for him in a tangible way and demonstrate how much I support him. He has been really grateful (and vocally so) and plus, we're both learning more about how to really care for our teeth. So of course the enemy wants to slip in and ruin it, and my own insecurities and negative thoughts are bound to flare up rather than just appreciate the good! One thing is the financial bit; I am really trying not to worry about the money. But the other thing is returning to nitpicking our relationship and putting my focus on my relationship with him rather than on my relationship with God. So today G was thanking me for going to the dentist with him today and for always taking care of him - and this thought popped up in my head: "I wish you took care of me like that, I wish you paid attention to all my little details and took care of them rather than whining or not even noticing!"
Praise God that that toxic thought stayed in my head, but geez! And that's when the awesome "Uninvited moment" happened. Another thought popped in and said "Um no. I do not need my HUSBAND to be my caregiver or the source of my sense of being safe, protected, satisfied, etc. - because no human can ever be a perfect caregiver!! The caregiver I really need - and praise the Lord, already have - is GOD, and if I'm feeling 'uncared for,' then that means 1) my focus is in the wrong place and 2) I need to go spend some time with Him." Guys. It was awesome. It was like some of this stuff we've been reading really clicked and I was able to shift my thought patterns accordingly! I praise God for it, and that moment just makes me all the more excited to keep going with this study, and more importantly, keep pressing into this relationship with our amazing God.
Thank you God for working in our hearts through this study and in so many other ways, and thank you for always taking care of us. I know that all will work out for good according to your perfect plans and I know that nothing can separate us from your love. I just want to rest in you Lord and rest in the knowledge that you will guide us and lead us where we need to go. <3
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Post by Adrienne on Dec 28, 2017 23:47:06 GMT -5
Also, Sharon, I read Chapter 5 and really enjoyed it! I will post on it tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your notes for it and Chapter 4 - I will respond to those tomorrow too :-)
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Post by Sharon on Dec 29, 2017 17:27:02 GMT -5
Adrienne!!! Girl yes! I am so excited to read this post!!! It was a spiritual battle right before your eyes and victory goes to God!!!
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Post by Adrienne on Jan 8, 2018 23:08:17 GMT -5
Hey Sharon!! School starts back on Wednesday so I've been busy working as much as possible on my dissertation and getting the house in order before going back to teaching. So I'm sorry, but I've fallen behind on the study and dropped out of touch on here.
Where are you at with the study? I read Chapter 6 a couple days ago; it came at the perfect time to share with another friend who is going through some problems with a friend of hers.
And I just read Chapter 7, and I want to encourage you to read it if you haven't yet- it's all about reaching for grace instead of anger/bitterness when we are rejected or wronged. I think it will be meaningful for you, especially considering your anger towards Chris recently. It's reminded me to look at G and our marriage with a heart of grace, instead of a heart filled with insecurity-which I've been struggling with lately.
Favorite line of Chapter 7, about Abigail in the Bible: "She refuses to be a victim of a circumstance she can't fully change. Instead she changed what she can." The only thing she can change is her reaction. She decides to react with grace instead of bitterness, anger, blame, insecurity... I meed to work on that!
I haven't looked at the online bible study for either Chapter 6 or 7, but I do plan to. (No guarantees when, since my schedule is clearly a mess!)
2017 was so hectic. I have a lot to do in 2018, but I want to do this year better. I want to really seek out God. I want to spend time with Him, even if it's not perfectly regimented or according to schedule. God please give me the strength and will to really connect with you!
I'm sending you a big hug, Sharon. May you continue to feel comforted and guided by our amazing God.
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Post by Sharon on Jan 10, 2018 0:00:44 GMT -5
Thanks for the update Adrienne! I flew through chapters 6 and 7 and never posted my notes! Lol, this study really is coming at a good time I have to say. Even though it's not as structured as me or you probably would like, I'm really glad that we're persisting and doing it! I think reading it slowly and thoughtfully this time is making a big difference for me.
Chapter 6 was good for me. It is mostly encouraging in my opinion to just be obedient and deny our flesh desires to fight back or hang on tight. I have been holding on for so long to this poisonous relationship and really I am starting to realize it was for my own selfish desires, not for him. Even though I painted it like it was for him. Chapter 7 really spoke volumes to me though. I feel like that woman whose marriage fell apart that she is talking about. I actually went through my house after Chris left and took down every photo of him and put them in the closet in the basement and locked the door. I don't know what to do with that life, because that isn't my life anymore. Those were reminders of beginnings that were supposed to turn into something that didn't. And that rejection is very real for me and for the kids. But she started talking about the two boxes - bitterness and joy. How we can choose to take from one or take from the other. I actually shared chapter 7 with a friend from my DivorceCare class too, because it is really helpful with the bitterness. Yall have known me long enough now to know that I lived in that bitter box for probably like 5 years. I don't want to ever dig out of there again. Sometimes I do find myself rolling around in it and I have to remind myself that this isn't where I want to be. I think recently especially, it has been a comforting thing for me, because rather I recognize how wronged I was and be bitter so that I don't let him get near again. But God's been breaking off things in my heart that have kept me attached to Chris instead. God doesn't want me enjoying that box either lol. Thank you God that your plans are better than mine! "To love God is to cooperate with his grace." I love how she talks about Abigail too. "She refuses to be the victim of a circumstance she can't fully change." I want to be that. So badly, I don't want to be a victim anymore of this circumstance that I did everything in my power to change. Yall know I tried, but it still came to an abrupt halt. And I could sit around in that bitterness forever, but God wants me to get up out of that and enjoy instead. To show grace and not be a victim.
Adrienne, I have been praying for you in this study and I am so glad that you're reading still, even if you haven't had time to post on the study topics! No worries! The notes are more for our own personal understanding I think anyways! Keep pressing in sister. I am praying for you!
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Post by Sharon on Jan 26, 2018 16:46:03 GMT -5
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Post by Adrienne on Feb 6, 2018 21:49:14 GMT -5
Thank you Sharon for checking in! I will look into the other study too. I haven't read a word of Uninvited since Chapter 7 :-( Things have been crazy at school and at home; January has been a hard month. I just have one more big deadline this week and then hope to smooth things out and get back on track with the study (and everything else) - I definitely feel like I need to get back into studying the word again so I would love to start back up reading and also posting about Uninvited again.
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Post by Sharon on Feb 10, 2018 3:53:10 GMT -5
lol it's okay. I know busy so it's all good! I'm up to chapter 11 (girl it just gets better! Keep reading when you can make time!) I will post here soon on my notes about the last few chapters I've read!
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As I consider how to apply the teachings to my daily life, however, the video on day two of the study is helpful, since it breaks it down into steps. I have to remember to take that pause and reflect on who I am in God, and what God's purpose is for me in that "crowded room."