Uninvited Bible Study

Thanks Adrienne!

Here's the link the the proverbs 31 study.
proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies/uninvited#week1

It breaks the study into 6 weeks and we are going to start on Tuesday December 12.

Week 1 wants us to read the first 3 chapters. Is this going to work for everyone? I know we are all very busy, so if we need to change this to every other week to give everyone a chance to read the chapters, just let us know and we will adjust!

Hey I am a fast reader too and don't mind doing the fast route if you want, but yeah I wanted to the study a second time because I felt it went too quickly in 6 weeks. Any other opinions on it? Pat?

Yeah that sounds good to me. I'm excited for tomorrow 🤗

Imagine that, I'm slow getting started this morning!

Still haven't finished with my "prep" for the study today, but I wanted to post the verse of the week:

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)

Which one do you think you need to be reaching for in your closet more lately?? I could go definitely work some more patience into my wardrobe!!

Hi everyone!

What a day! It didn't go at all like I had planned! It took me until now to be able to complete the study for today, but I wanted to share, even though it's a lot later than I expected.

First off, I am loving our verse of the week! There is something about the symbolism of clothing ourselves that is really meaningful. We have choices about how to approach our world! Thank you Sharon for the perspective on "humility" - I don't know if I've ever thought about it that way!

Next, I did the questions at the end of the study post for Chapter 1 (Week 1, day 2) and thought I would share... Maybe over the next few days we can each share our thoughts in response to these questions and the ideas in Chapter 1 and discuss and be able to better pray for one another!

REFLECTION: CHAPTER 1 (WEEK 1, DAY 2)
*Observe — Do you tend to struggle most with believing lies about you, others or God?
Is it okay to answer all of the above?? I think the two lies that I struggle most with are "I'm not good enough" and "God can't fix this." I struggle with insecurity in various areas of my life... I often think I'm not a good enough wife for G, not a good enough student in my PhD program, not a good enough Christian, and not even a good enough person. I also often believe the LIE that God can't fix this. "This" is variable, but it's often my marriage. I really appreciate that Chapter 1 and the study for today make a point of telling us to identify these lies and then counteract them. Rather than believing these lies, which pull me away from God and from the image that God has of me, I need to believe God's TRUTHS about who I am and about who He is!

*Bible — Let’s collect some treasures! Read the 12 Bible verses used in this week’s chapters (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3%3A12%2C+Genesis+1%3A31%2C+Romans+8%3A21%2C+Psalm+96%3A13%2C+Romans+8%3A28%2C+Romans+8%3A5-6%2C+Isaiah+26%3A3-4%2C+Zephaniah+3%3A17%2C+John+15%3A7%2C+Psalm+37%3A4%2C+Psalm+91%3A1%2C+Mark+3%3A14-15&version=NIV). Add the ones that “move you” to your “treasure trove.” Which one encourages you most and why?
-- "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." (Genesis 1:31a) -- I appreciated this verse because it seems to speak exactly to the lie I put above that "I'm not good enough." The truth to counteract that lie is that God made me, and He deemed me good!!
-- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) -- This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible, but today it speaks to me because it directly negates my second lie from above. God can fix "this," because He works all things for the good of those who love Him!

*Stretch — Reflect on a personal rejection. Referring to the example Lysa gives on page 8, work through the following in your P31 OBS Journal or notebook:

-- What’s the line of rejection? --- I experienced rejection when G had his affair, and the "line," which he never actually said but I felt, was "I don't want you. You are not a good enough wife and I want something else that you can't give me."

-- What label has resulted? --- The label I have taken on is one of insecurity and unworthiness.

-- What lie(s) have surfaced? --- Lies that have surfaced are that I will never be a "good enough" wife for G. (When in reality - of course I won't - but that is not a reflection on me, but on our GOD. G and I need God to complete this marriage, not for me to be sexier or more romantic or a better cook!)

-- Has a liability occurred in how you think about yourself or interact in relationships? -- Yes... this insecurity is continually damaging in our marriage. I need to give this lie over to God and embrace His truths for me and for our marriage.

-- What treasure(s) from Chapter 1 stuck to you? --- The reminder that it is time to seek God's TRUTHS and embrace them!!

Thank you for posting your reflection, Sharon! It seems we have a lot in common, especially concerning the lies that we tend to believe. I also experience the same type of fear that you expressed in the "liability" question in the stretch section... I'm scared to lean on God and cling desperately (and sadly) to this idea that I'm a failure and am not good enough - and never will be. I found Chapter 2 really encouraging in how to find ways to counteract those lies and really dig our heels into God's truths.

Have you (or anyone else) read Chapters 2 and 3 yet? I read them both yesterday, and Chapter 2 was really powerful for me. I'm reminded that I have to anchor my identity in Christ, not in worldly things (for me, this is usually my husband and school). I really liked the three reminder questions to help us refocus our identity in God and His goodness (Is God good? Is God good to me? Do I trust God to be God?).

From Chapter 3, the most important treasure that I got is the reminder that I have to slow down and really dedicate time to God - otherwise, my "cup" will fill to the brim with negativity from the world that surrounds me. For me, that's often insecurity and stress about my place in my marriage and PhD program: at school we call this "imposter syndrome," feeling like we don't really belong. I thought about you reading this chapter, Sharon - this reminds me of how you've said in the past that your family and friends sometimes try to feel your cup with negative ideas about your work and your stand. We have to remember to protect our "cups" and carefully supervise what goes in them - which reminds me of Proverbs 4:23 - "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

We've also got another reflection from the Online Bible Study at Proverbs 31 ministries for Chapter 3- Here's the link: proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies/uninvited/blog/post/2017/09/19/the-leaky-cup

Here are my notes after doing the reflection:

*Observe — What kind of stuff tends to come out when your life gets tough?
When life gets tough, I get more insecure. I start doubting everything, and that doubt is aimed toward my two weak points (and central identity points, since I have been making the mistake of basing my identity on worldly things instead of God): these are my marriage and my progress in my PhD program. When I’m stressed or bad things are going on, I exaggerate everything negative, and worry obsessively about my marriage (thoughts along the lines of G is having or wants to have another affair, G doesn’t love me, G will always be prodigal, I’m not a good enough wife, etc.). I also worry about school with thoughts like I’m not doing enough, I’m not smart enough, I will never finish, even if I do finish I won’t be able to find a job in my field, etc. Because I’m feeling extra insecure, I get more judgmental (I make assumptions rather than seeking truth) and I exaggerate… this leads to even more negative feelings and negative self-talk, and sometimes to arguments.

Bible — Philippians 4:8 gives us great advice on where best to park our minds. How can following this wisdom from God’s Word help you to “live loved”?
• “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, ESV)
• I love this verse! For me, this verse is a reminder that I have the power to decide where my mind goes. If thinking about something is making me feel like a terrible person and dragging me deeper into a negative thought pool, I know that is not from God, and I have the CHOICE and POWER to redirect my thoughts! It’s not that God ignores our mistakes and always speaks “you’re awesome!” messages into our lives, but, even when we mess up, God’s love is bigger than that. He corrects us and instructs us, but does so with love – whereas the enemy just wants to point out our failures and make us feel awful. If I can think calmly about God’s truths and about His love, then I can confront my shortcomings from a place of grace and redemption, rather than a place of shame. I can also realize that my true identity is not in how much I’m able to write on a given day, or if I cooked a good dinner for G, but instead, in CHRIST.

Stretch — What’s one thing you’ll do today to help fill your heart with the right kind of stuff?
• For a long time I have known that I need to get back into spending time with God and reading the word. This study has been an important step in the right direction, but I would also like to do some things independently. Today, another step will be to make out a plan to read the Gospel about Jesus’ birth (prophecies of it, God’s messages to Mary and Joseph beforehand, and the actual birth). I’d like to plan a bit to read each day leading up to Christmas.

I hope the study is empowering you to relate to God and think about your identity and your marriage in new ways, Sharon (and anyone else who is also studying along). I'm praying for you!

Sorry I'm so late in posting! This study is really needed for me right now and chapters 2 and 3 were very encouraging. Kind of confirming a lot that is going on in my heart now and I am becoming a stronger person because I'm learning to "live loved". I was actually really blessed to be able to put this into practice today with Chris coming to see the kids and me. He was doing some things that frustrated me. Texting when I want to ask who he is talking to, but I'm biting my tongue, taking my negative emotions, reflecting and realizing that they stem from a past rejection and that I am more valuable than this and that I can live from a place of love, because that is how God made me. And learning to have child like faith. "Will I trust that God sees and knows things I don't? Will I trust Him when I don't understand? When circumstances are hard? When people betray or reject me? When my heart gets broken? Will I trust Him to the point where I fully turn the control of my life and those I love over to Him?" That is hard. I know y'all know how I am. Controlling. I can do this better. But to take my hands off of this and give it to God. To let Him have my fears, my sadness, my rejection, my marriage, my worries, my love, and my husbands soul. I have to remember what she said "God is good at being God." He is really the only one who can do this. Chapter 3, the best reminder in it for me was her description of the disciples calling. "Yes, they were to go out to preach and drive out demons, but the first part of their calling was to be with Him. Fullness comes to us when we remember to be with Him before going out to serve him." That is what Jesus meant when he said the greatest commandment was the Love the Lord your God with all your heart. I swear, every time I am in alignment with him, it's like everything else just falls naturally into place. Tonight with Chris, I was praying constantly. Asking God for wisdom and guidance. He did give me it. I was so tempted to ask Chris to stay the night, but felt God in my Spirit telling me no, so I didn't. But I asked if I could pray for him when he was leaving and he said yes. I wasn't clingy. I prayed for his safety and Gods continued direction in his life. I didn't linger too much to look like I care too much and am desperate. I also was able to show love. All of that happened I know because of God. He was with me, guiding me. And that's the power we have access to when we stop and let God take control of our emotions, our decisions, everything. Remember, don't fix your eyes on the promise. Fix them on the Promiser.