Rough day

Chris got back into the country. I have been praying and spending time with the Lord and felt very confident in everything. Took Chris an hour and a half from the time he said he was on his way to get to the house. I was an emotional wreck. When he finally got in, we talked briefly about logistics of the divorce. He asked if he could take a shower and I said he could. I asked could he yell up to me when he was leaving because I had to get the kids. He said go get them and I told him I don't think he should be alone at the house. He was mad. He knew I would act this way! I apologized and told him okay, I will go get the kids. He said forget it, he will see them tomorrow. When he came out of the shower, negotiating began. His name is still on the house, I can't just kick him out. I told him I was sorry and I didn't want to be difficult. I walked away, prayed and considered, then came back. Explained that I don't want to leave him homeless and I know his name on the house but his name is also still on our marriage certificate and as his wife, I am worried. He told me I wasn't his wife. I told him that if he wants to stay for a month, while his name is still on the house, and tries to find a new place, that would be fine. I would leave to stay with my parents. I left again. He texted me saying that he knows I am still his wife, but that doesn't matter anymore. He is sorry he was aggressive, but he is stressed. He doesn't like not knowing the plan for his future. I told him I am scared of that too. He asked if I would bring the kids over because that would make him feel better. I said yes, got them from my folks, and took them to see their dad. Chris and I talked to Christian about the divorce. He was very sad, but said he understood. He seems fine now, but I am sure there will be more talks and more questions. We stayed about an hour and a half, before I told him we were going to leave because the kids need to go to bed. He seemed genuinely surprised that we were still leaving. One thing I did appreciate was that when Chris explained what was going on to Christian, he said that there are consequences for bad choices and daddy made some bad choices that made mommy mad. It was refreshing to hear him take that on. I am so heartbroken over this right now though. God I know this is all part of your plan, but dang it God! This really hurts! I just want my husband back. I just want my family back. I pray Lord that Chris is feeling this pain too and I beg you do your work in him and help this to drive him back to you! But honestly, I wonder if Chris is feeling this like I am. He seemed very sincere in the fact that he doesn't love me anymore. I am feeling very abandoned all over again, but I know God is with me. He loves me. Lord, please take this pain from me. Lord, love me as my husband now. I need your comfort.