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Post by Sharon on Jul 31, 2017 0:12:58 GMT -5
Hey guys. Can you please keep me and Chris in prayers. He went out last night with some 40 year old woman and he is acting like it was purely innocent and to a degree I believe it was, by which I mean I don't think he slept with her. But it is not okay for him to go out alone with anyone of the opposite sex. It's just not okay. It invites the enemy in. It gives him a foothold. He did this in Vegas too and I didn't say anything. This time I just was slow to respond after asking who this woman was. He told me straight and acted as if I was being dumb for thinking anything about it. I prayed about it and asked God should I not speak to him for the next 2 weeks (he will be home in 2 weeks). I asked God to give me a confirmation of this by not having him speak to me in that moment again and by reminding me not to respond. That the only texts or calls I get are when I am too busy to respond. He texted me hours later when the kids and I were at the movies, so I feel strongly that this was confirmation not to speak to him. I don't want to be difficult, but he knows clearly that being alone with a woman is not okay, or he wouldn't have been defensive of the decision. I think, for once, he can suffer the consequences of his decisions and the consequence is that I am upset at him. Not that I am leaving him or he can't come home, but that I don't want to talk to him for a few weeks. What do you guys think though? Can you please pray for wisdom for me in this and peace and patience for me too. I am feeling restless and I want to instead be focused on God, not on Chris. I feel very distracted.
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Post by tkk2 on Jul 31, 2017 5:13:03 GMT -5
I think you are wise to give him a different consequence. I absolutely agree that once trust is broken, that it is not ok for him to be alone with another woman. Period. That is his weakness and it will forever be a open door for Satan. I see that we all fight spiritual battles daily. I'm praying for you in this situation....that God gives you wisdom and discernment.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 31, 2017 7:21:40 GMT -5
Thank you so much TK. I slept very well last night and he was not on my mind. That is a relief for several reasons. The enemy has been trying to inflate this in my mind (he was out late, did not get home until 3am, and was drunk when he did call me). I asked God last night to give me peace and to speak the truth of the matter to me. Usually after things like this, I have sleepless dreams that are very revealing about the truth. Last night though I had very peaceful sleep and none of it was to do with Chris. God wants to keep me out of it emotionally. He has some work to do in Chris and it doesn't involve me beating him up or taking out vengeance on him. It does involve God and Chris and I need to stay out of it as much as I can.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 31, 2017 8:15:15 GMT -5
Deuteronomy 28:2 says "All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God." I am receiving this as a promise and blessing. Amen!
I read this devotion this morning from "He Speaks in the Silence" by Diane Comer.
"The word translated as blessing in the New Testament is derived from the Greek word, makarismos, which means 'to be indwelt by God through the Holy Spirit and, therefore, because of His indwelling to be fully satisfied in spite of the afflictions of life.'"
And this definition is madly encouraging. Because I have been walking through the valley of the shadow. Because I know that even here, I don't have to be afraid, because He is with me. And when I opened my prayer journal on Saturday, I read those promises again. The promises He has made over my marriage. Some of them that have happened and some have not. Not goal yet, but getting there. Some promises have happened and so many more blessings still need to come, but here is the secret. Listening to His voice. That He has a plan and He is taking care of all of it. Making plans and putting them in motion. Amen. I receive this Lord. I am here and I am yours. Use me how you will. I trust you and your plans for me fully.
One last tidbit. Plants need both rain and sunshine to grow. So do people.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 31, 2017 13:42:54 GMT -5
Gosh the enemy is REALLY trying! It's supposed to be a slow day at work but none of my employees are focused or doing the right thing so I'm pushing and fighting and trying so hard to motivate these people. My Denver manager just decided not to work today, so I am doing her job. And I backed up and hit my sisters car. Her car is fine but mine has a huge dent in it. Please be praying. But I know I know I know that God is about to have a breakthrough because there's no possible way all of this is happening coincidentally. The enemy is trying every last ditch effort to drag me down and NO SATAN you will not win!
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Post by leandro on Aug 1, 2017 8:15:12 GMT -5
Sharon, like I always said you are an inspiration to us, and you know that when the enemy is attacking the most that's when he knows that we are getting our promises fulfill. I've been having serious attacks too on my finances, family, work, traffic tickets, courts. It's been overwhelming but I know that God has our backs and he is with us on this walk. Remain strong and I of course will be praying for strength and discernment.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 1, 2017 8:28:27 GMT -5
I appreciate that Leandro and I will be praying for you too brother. This isn't easy at all, but I have been having many clear signs from the Lord and I have also heard the enemies whispers trying to convince me not to go through with all of this. Thank you all for praying for discernment for me, because it is becoming quite clear whose voice I am hearing. I'm following the one that lines up with the word though. That is God breathed. He never changes and His voice always stays the same. Leandro I will pray for strength for you brother. That you will sit down in peace on his rock and trust Him. Knowing that His plan is better then yours and that even when you are without, He will provide. I pray and know that God is using these many trials as a means to an end which is all part of his plan. And so I pray that you will count this as pure joy because you know that He cares enough to work on you. He cares enough to not let you stay where you are. Even if He seems to be leading you backwards, He is leading you to His path.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 1, 2017 8:30:58 GMT -5
This is what I wrote in my prayer journal this morning. I know it is pretty haphazard and all over the place, but this is how God and I talk and I wanted to share it, because I feel strengthened:
Lord about this matter dealing with Chris, you have given me some insight into your plan. First you asked me to draw a line in the sand. This is Gods side and that is the worlds: he doesn't like being on that side but he chose to go there again when he knows he shouldn't. So now the line is drawn and he is trapped there. The only was back into the fold is by your gate now. He is rushing at it banging and asking me to pull him back over. I won't. You promised me Deuteronomy 28:2 which I see more of each day. All my blessings will overtake those who obey me. You told me that we had "hit a wall". That there was no where else for Chris to go. This needs to start. So we are starting. Your timing is perfect though. Deep enough into the deployment that I am not going to be in pain or mourning for long. Deep enough in that I can persist. And during a deployment which you know will be easier for me to avoid him then if he was home. Your timing is perfect. Perfect. All your blessings. All is every blessing you have stored up for us towards restoration. You plan now to bring them to fruition. You promised me before that 2017 was the year and it has begun. All the blessings all the promises and more. Will overtake. Not just happen. Not just come to pass. But take over. Consume. Obliterate the old self and bring about the new life. You reminded me yesterday that baptism is dying to old self and taking on the new life. And Chris being baptized was one of your promises/blessings. Those who obey me. Me, because you asked me to stand still for two weeks and I am going to do it. I will obey. You are faithful you are good all my days. Your plans are best. Your ways are good. You never fail. You are allowing me to be part of it, but you don't need me. You allow it. Those who obey me. Chris. When he begins to obey you, your blessings will then overtake him. And you woke me up with the song Make A Way again. When the enemy was trying to feed me officially missing you to tempt me to speak to him, you instead fed me make a way and I am carrying that with me today. The enemy is afraid because his final chains are about to be broken and there is nothing he can do to stop it. I am excited and anticipate this. I am filled with joy to be part of it. And part of it in the "be still and know that I am God" part of it. You know it's hard for me, but persistence wears away resistance. I won't give up lord.
The other frustration for me - it is so easy for him to go out with and spend time until 3am getting drunk with a single woman when he has a local cell phone number. He insisted on getting it, even knowing the temptations and the way the enemy could use it. He has been making toe the line decisions for a while. And I am angry at him Lord. But more I am weeping with you for him, because you weep for him. You love him.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 1, 2017 9:33:03 GMT -5
He called today and I answered. I was weak and maybe I should have stayed away, but he tried to act like he didn't understand why I was mad so I told him not to act dumb and if he wants to talk it to hang up mad cause I won't answer for him again. He asked me to be respectful to him if we talked then so we did. I told him he is being disrespectful to me by acting the way he did and is it okay for me to be out until 3am with a bunch of men? He tried to act dumb and I told him the devil is tempting him. And he is creeping the door open and peeking inside. And no, he didn't sleep with her, but he acts foolish and allows the devil a foothold. In the end, he seemed chastised more then understanding and I don't know if we got anywhere. Maybe I shouldn't have answered but I had a seriously weak moment
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Post by Sharon on Aug 1, 2017 18:29:12 GMT -5
I shared this all with my sister today. She is going to hold me accountable to not speak to Chris again. God gave me this image today. The image of a pit that Chris is in and there is fire, it is hot and it hurts. I am not causing the fire. It is the enemy! I am standing at the top of the pit. I keep trying to put my hand out and pull him out, but I can't. I am not strong enough and he doesn't want to come out. He wants to hang on for brief relief before going back in. God is standing there too watching my feeble attempts. He asks me to be still, but I keep interjecting when I don't think he works fast enough. He is not fighting against me. He will wait until I am ready to move then he will work. If I answer chris call, that is me shouting from the edge of the pit to direct him. It's still getting in Gods way. I need to back away from the pit. I can watch, but I can't do the work. NONE of it! I need to back away and watch God work so that he may be glorified in this.
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Post by leandro on Aug 1, 2017 21:52:34 GMT -5
Sharon, today's verse of the day for in the Bible app is "stand still and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10
This was exactly was God was talking to me these past few days and I believe to you as well. There is nothing else you can do but trust in him, I think by you telling Chris to not do something the more you are pushing him to do it. That's what has happened to me with my wife. God bless sister and remain strong.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 1, 2017 22:29:20 GMT -5
Leandro, you are SO RIGHT! And I know this is Gods word for me. In fact I changed my lock screen to that verse earlier today, before you shared it. God is absolutely speaking this to me. My lock screen has "Be still" and my wallpaper says "Obey Me", just in case I decide to be willful. God is doing some work here. He asked me to step back and stop trying to fix it and let Chris suffer a little out of my sight so that God can do some work. I need to back down. Thank you brother for the encouragement. Please pray for peace for me.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 2, 2017 21:47:31 GMT -5
I hate this. It's hard. I didn't realize how much I had gotten attached to my phone and to Chris again. I feel like a drug addict trying to get off. He's been texting me and he's clearly mad and sad that I am not answering him. He even said "it's not fair" at some point. I know I should just stop reading his texts. I need to be strong, but I miss him and I wish I could just satisfy my own cravings and talk to him. But God keeps telling me to trust Him. To be still and know that HE IS GOD! Not me. Not my plans. I have to stay back but ugh...it's hard
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Post by tkk2 on Aug 3, 2017 5:08:04 GMT -5
Hang in there Sharon! I know it's hard but you are right....you have to let God have this. I sense it won't be long.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 3, 2017 22:14:18 GMT -5
Hang in there Sharon! I know it's hard but you are right....you have to let God have this. I sense it won't be long. TK thank you so much for saying that! You know how i am...I have very little patience. God knows that about me too and I don't think it is something He dislikes about me. Honestly my lack of patience is often a good thing. Right now I have to focus on being still. When Chris is heading home, I am going to send him a text with a prayer and let him know we miss him and will pick him up at the base, so he is not worried for the whole flight home about that. I prayed and feel like God is giving me the okay on that. But not to speak to him before that. That God is busy speaking and I am a distraction. |
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