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Post by marissaa91 on Dec 8, 2016 17:06:51 GMT -5
Garrett and I have been fighting really bad lately. I was just starting to get back on track in my faith, prayer, and marriage when it started. Last night, like a sign, I opened my phone and the book that I downloaded for Mary's women's group was open (God knew). It was on a chapter about how the enemy likes to attack our families/marriages. Last night as well, Garrett prayed to God about things that needed to change in himself. He apparently spoke to our neighbor and a revelation came upon him. But then this morning a huge attack came from the enemy. I was up early and was ready to read the word. I was gonna ask Garrett to read a scripture with me when he came home. Right as I was about to open my word and put on worship music he came home and a fight broke out. I went to the room crying but I prayed, read my devotionals, and put on worship music. After 10 mins I came out and apologized. But the enemy didn't like that because another fight broke out and it turned physical (we're both ok). I was trying to show him how crazed in his anger he's been lately. But instead of doing it gracefully or praying, I did what he does to me. I cut him off, got in his face, and screamed, "This is what you do to me and this is how it feels!" He snapped and grabbed me by the throat but realized what he did and quickly moved his hand to my shoulder told me to not do that again and let go. He didn't speak another word, I cried. I could feel the shame and guilt, on him about it. He couldn't even look at me. God kept me from fearing him then. I know with such a deep sense that it wasn't my husband in that outburst. I prayed, spoke some kind words, and left to work. When I came home he was on lunch. He said he thinks someone should leave because he's afraid of hurting me. I spoke as much truth as I could, gave him space, and prayed with him before he went back to work. He tried not to cry and didn't want to let me love him or show forgiviness. I think he feels like he doesn't deserve it. After he left I prayed for him, myself, and our marriage. Right when we were ready to move in God this attack comes. Please pray with me and any biblical advice would be appreciated.
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Post by Sharon on Dec 8, 2016 18:30:14 GMT -5
I am going to be praying about this Marissa. The enemy does attack like this. Heavy and hard when breakthroughs are about to happen. Be encouraged sister. This means that God is working too. He is about to have a victory and the enemy knows it, so he is afraid and attacking his hardest. I wanted to recommend another book. I haven't read it yet, but I am buying it soon and have heard amazing things about it. It's called Letters to my daughters: The Art of Being a Wife by Barbara Rainey.
I think the best advice I can give is to try to be respectful to Garrett, even when you are addressing a difficult topic. I'm not sure what the fight was about, but I know Chris and I have had plenty of those over and over again fights. When we approach men aggressively, they feel disrespected and act defensively. But if you start with something like "Would it be okay if I mentioned 'whatever'". If he really isn't in the mood for this discussion, say something like "that's fine. It is pressing on my heart, so could we discuss it later this evening?" And just go from there. Let him take control of the discussion in that way. I hope that makes sense and helps. But I will definitely be praying for you about this Marissa.
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Post by marissaa91 on Dec 8, 2016 22:05:49 GMT -5
Thank you Sharon for that recommendation and for the advice. I really appreciate it and will look into that book.
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Post by Mary H on Dec 9, 2016 6:49:22 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you guys were in this situation. Praying for you. Tony has actually pushed me before because of this same situation back before he first left.
I feel like it's not just the enemy- we have to take responsibility for distancing ourselves from the Lord to where we are all the more prone to satans power..
I had a moment with the Holy Spirit last week & felt some bold prophesy type things pressed on my heart. Now this I have for you..
"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called."
Isaiah 54:5
I feel that the Lord is having divine & righteous jeaslosy for you. He wants to be first in your heart. He wants you to chose Him.
I hope this speaks to you
Call or text me if you just wana talk. I've been in situations like that with Tony so I know what it's like
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Post by pstokes522 on Dec 9, 2016 10:01:29 GMT -5
When David and I were first together, we used to have horrible fights. Nothing ever got physical, but they did get loud and ugly. I remember just being so tired of it all. One day I just had enough and told him I couldn't live like that. I could live with him or I could live without him (we were not married yet) but I could not live with constant fighting. And the fighting stopped - like someone flipped a light switch. So I know how you feel, it is draining in every sense - physically, mentally, emotionally. And ones focus during those times is definitely not on God. I will pray for you & Garrett. I prayed for ya'll about this last night, & I will continue to do so. (PS - David & still had little arguments, but not the screaming fights we had before...)
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Post by Mary H on Dec 9, 2016 19:42:53 GMT -5
Sounds like Dave decided to suppress how he felt... that's even worse! That man probably has so much resentment built up. I'm praying for him tonight about this
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Post by marissaa91 on Dec 9, 2016 20:08:17 GMT -5
I cried about that for bit yesterday evening. A few hours before he was supposed to come home I felt myself weep and I just couldn't believe he and I let ourselves and our marriage get to this point.
But I do believe now that since it is revealed it's something to pray for and go talk to someone about so we can push forward. If it's brought to light then it's something we know we each, individually and together, need to work on.
And thanks for the perspective about you and Dave. I know we aren't the only ones, it's just hard sometimes in the moment. You get caught up with tunnel vision and don't stop to take the blinders off and see that you aren't alone. But luckily yesterday is over and I pray God guides us all in the ways we need to make progress and move forward.
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Post by marissaa91 on Dec 9, 2016 20:28:22 GMT -5
Another thing I'd like to ask for prayer for is a dream I had. 2 dreams actually, a couple weeks apart.
Yesterday I prayed for a few different things. One was for God to guide me and show us how to move forward from this; what changes need to be made. I asked Him to strength my gift and give me dreams as well as the revelation to understand them.
Then last night I dreamed I was pregnant. It was the end of the dream. The rest was about a bunch of people we talked to who were in trouble or being interrogated I think? That part is still a little fuzzy. But the pregnancy I'm not sure about because for one I wasn't big pregnant I was like 3 months pregnant. I even said, "Oh yeah I forgot about that" as I looked down and rubbed my stomach in the dream. It caught me off guard because I know pregnancy in dreams can be literal or mean you're giving birth to something spiritual.
What's really throwing me off though is a week and a half ago I had a dream about "timing". Like intimacy timing with Garrett. It's hard to describe but I woke up knowing that was the meaning. I just let it go and then I had that dream last night. So yesterday, because of it, I checked my fertility app and this is supposed to be my ovulation week. It seems like such off timing after yesterday if it is literal. But I prayed that if it is literal or if it's spiritual I would trust God in his plans and his timing, whatever they mean.
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Post by tkk2 on Dec 10, 2016 8:08:01 GMT -5
I agree that a breakthrough is close for you both. The enemy will continue....i do believe each of us will always "stand" even after our relationships are restored.
I think counseling would be helpful. We had session 8 Thursday....Although it is very hard and emotional. I'm praying for you
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