Post by tkk2 on Nov 13, 2016 5:54:42 GMT -5
I had counseling session 6 this week. I thought I was in trouble because the therapist wanted to see me by myself. Turns out he just wanted to get to know me a bit, since i haven't spoken much in sessions 1-5...Dana dominated them and lashed out in anger (and I might even say a bit of hatred)
Anyway, the therapist suggested that i lead with my heart and be super intentional with my husband. So, i sent him a text and said that i accept him, in all his brokenness just as he is and that he is still lovable to me.
That was on Wed....no response, nothing but silence. I sense Dana is second guessing everything again.....whether we should be together and did he make a mistake choosing me 20 years ago.
Meanwhile, i contacted the attorney this week to see about getting our $5k retainer back, since we're not getting divorced (i need the money to pay for both therapists). The attorney responded and sent a final document to the court and copied Dana on it. Honestly in Dana's heart, i think the divorce is still on the table.....and that the therapy is a way for him to validate that we should never have been.
I've often felt like a widow since we separated 2 years ago, because there are periods of silence. I'm feeling that way today.
Now, about today...we are celebrating Thanksgiving early this afternoon (because of conflicting schedues)...., Dana, myself, our daughter, son in law and grand girls. It's awkward to celebrate when hearts are ripped apart. But I want us to be joyful anyway. I don't want Dana to be here out of an obligation, but rather because of love. Period.
Please pray I'm intentional in speaking Dana's love language to him today, and that his hard heart softtens a bit.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and pray.....it means the world to me. God bless and hope you all have a happy Sunday!
Anyway, the therapist suggested that i lead with my heart and be super intentional with my husband. So, i sent him a text and said that i accept him, in all his brokenness just as he is and that he is still lovable to me.
That was on Wed....no response, nothing but silence. I sense Dana is second guessing everything again.....whether we should be together and did he make a mistake choosing me 20 years ago.
Meanwhile, i contacted the attorney this week to see about getting our $5k retainer back, since we're not getting divorced (i need the money to pay for both therapists). The attorney responded and sent a final document to the court and copied Dana on it. Honestly in Dana's heart, i think the divorce is still on the table.....and that the therapy is a way for him to validate that we should never have been.
I've often felt like a widow since we separated 2 years ago, because there are periods of silence. I'm feeling that way today.
Now, about today...we are celebrating Thanksgiving early this afternoon (because of conflicting schedues)...., Dana, myself, our daughter, son in law and grand girls. It's awkward to celebrate when hearts are ripped apart. But I want us to be joyful anyway. I don't want Dana to be here out of an obligation, but rather because of love. Period.
Please pray I'm intentional in speaking Dana's love language to him today, and that his hard heart softtens a bit.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and pray.....it means the world to me. God bless and hope you all have a happy Sunday!
