Dream

I had a dream last night that tony came home. He kissed me & I knew he loved me. He chose me, our family, & Jesus over the ow & the far country. As I was helping organize his things in our closet, I found a picture of him & the ow. I instantly wanted to burn it but brought it up to him instead. He said he thought about throwing it away but then decided he didn't want to forget her. It hurt but I remember reading RMM that Bob also held onto a pic of the ow for awhile, so I told tony it's ok & it's normal to feel that way. Then I woke up & half asleep I somehow ended up reading a RMM Devo from Bob about his guilt & shame when he first returned home & how standers should handle it. It talked specifically about the ow & the returned prodigals thoughts about it. I literally didn't mean to end up reading this! I believe the Lord is speaking to me through all of this & Tony's coming back really soon & I need to be ready.
I really don't feel like I am.. at all.. I've been struggling so much with my faith lately. The enemy is literally firing one thing after the other.. I feel a little nervous if tony were to come home soon.. I was reading through my journals from the few months he was back home & it was literally the hardest time of my life.. it was such a roller coaster & very exousting in every way.
But I know it will happen in His perfect timing regardless if I feel very ready or not.
I've been feeling kinda like a prodigal in ways lately.. not in regards to marriage, but just in general. I'm so tired of repenting to the Lord for not keeping Him first every day & being distracted.. it causes me to have guilt & get stuck there. But I just love the days when He so clearly gets our attention & puts us back on track!
Anyways- my praise report is for how He moves, works in our lives, speaks to us, & all the work He's doing in prodigal hearts all over the world!