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Post by pstokes522 on Sept 22, 2016 23:47:11 GMT -5
D called my daughter last week and said he was coming to town to take care of some things and wanted to see if they could have lunch. She immediately told me about it, since the last time he also called me, so she wanted to prepare me. I told her maybe he just wants to see her, and that's ok. He needs to mend his relationship with her, & I don't always need to be around. Late Tuesday he sent me a text saying he was coming the next day and would like to look at the storage units. So I agreed and told him to just let me know when he was ready. He then called me Wednesday morning and we had the same conversation we had by text the evening before. I did tell him though that our daughter was sick, so she probably couldn't do lunch. So after he finished what he needed to do, he called me and I met him at the storage units. We looked at everything and talked about all the crap we have to deal with. When we were finished he invited me to have lunch with him. We did go by the house so he could at least see our daughter, then he and I went to lunch. It was very nice and pleasant. There was a time I got nervous and anxious anytime I talked to him on the phone and especially if I saw him in person ... but that doesn't happen anymore. God has definitely restored our friendship - we seem to be able to talk about anything. Of course, I never bring up his girlfriend or his new life. I know it's baby steps, but God is restoring us. Maybe friends is all it's going to be for a while, and I'm ok with that. It is nice to not dread his name, voice or potential meetings with him. I still pray everyday for him, for restoration of our marriage, for God's will to be done in his life, in my life and even in the life of the OW. I know God has a plan for her that doesn't include my husband. But, I gotta say, I'm kind of enjoying doing my own thing. Since we separated over three years ago I've made many friends that I do things with, (all female) I've joined different female clubs of things I'm interested in, I do more church activities, and I'm really enjoying my freedom. Am I headed down the wrong path by 'thriving' during this time?
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Post by Sharon on Sept 23, 2016 10:44:00 GMT -5
Of course you are not heading down the wrong path! Part of the process is breaking your husband off from being your idol. God is your source of joy and he wants joy and peace for you. You should thrive when you pursue Him, regardless of your husband!
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Post by pstokes522 on Sept 23, 2016 14:08:59 GMT -5
Thank you Sharon. I was kind of worried I might be 'moving on' - not with another man, but getting on with my life like so many people tell us to do. I do still love him, but I'm definitely ok without him now. So different from the last three years.
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Post by Mary H on Sept 23, 2016 20:08:43 GMT -5
Was their a post from u just like this in the past pstokes?
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Post by Mary H on Sept 23, 2016 20:09:32 GMT -5
It says u just posted this 20 hrs ago.. I coulda sworn this was posted a couple months ago or somthing..
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Post by pstokes522 on Sept 23, 2016 20:38:35 GMT -5
No I posted it last night. I may have posted something similar a couple of months ago - he came then also - and invited me to spend the day with him and our daughter.
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Post by Mary H on Sept 23, 2016 21:27:17 GMT -5
Shew... Ok I thought I predicted that or somthing there for a sec.. Lol I'm so glad your in a place where your able to be friends. Like Sharon said, it's such a sign that he's no longer your idol. I'm in the stage where his very name gives me anxiety.. When he texted a few weeks ago after not hearing from him in months, was awful.
It's definaly getting better with time & with Jesus.
I think if I didn't have Jesus I would be either so very bitter & vengful that I would be the definition of "baby mama drama" or I would be done & over him completely & would already have another man. Thank God for Jesus
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Post by pstokes522 on Sept 24, 2016 19:18:19 GMT -5
Amen Mary! I'm perfectly happy right now without him in my life. I am truly content and joyful with Jesus. I'm sure the upcoming holidays will be a little sad, because we always had such great family holidays. BUT, I think I will probably be in a better place than the last three years which were always so uncertain. We never knew if he was coming, or if he was staying. And when he did come, he was so distant it was awful. Now we know why, but at the time it was very stressful. Of course, I think the season of my life helps me since our kids are grown. It must be so much harder for you & Sharon with your small children.
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Post by Mary H on Sept 24, 2016 20:42:26 GMT -5
Yes I was thinking after I replied on here yesterday that I feel like I would probably be where you are at this point but everytime I see his name pop up on my phone, the reason j get so anxious is because I'm so unsure about what's going to happen with my toddlers next.. What's he's going to try to do.. Take them? Hey joint custody? Bring them around his gf? Is he going to get his anger issue under control & get Councling before he gets them? Very doubtful.. Just worried about the kids & then I'm reminded that I can use this to grow in trust in faith & give my kids completely to the Lord. It's very hard but I'm glad honestly because I can use this to become all He wants me to be  |
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