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Post by Eric W. on Aug 17, 2016 21:19:34 GMT -5
I am at a loss today. I am tired, I am weak, I am beaten down, and wounded. I am at a financial strain, a stressful work strain, and tonight's sermon was over 1 Peter 3, about a husband and wife needing each other. Supporting each other, and making each other better, together.
I am at a point of stagnation. I want to stand, I feel I was called to stand, but I feel in actuality I am just waiting... Waiting for God to fix it, waiting for her to ask me to come back home, waiting for everything to be all right.
I feel like a little kid, clutching his blanket tight, just wanting it to be ok.
I know God CAN fix this, I don't know that I "deserve" it, that I am ready for it, or if he wants to. Was I called to stand? Yes. Are all stands answered? One of the saddest songs I can think of is, "He Stopped Loving Her Today". As sad as it is to hear, at the same time I am somehow strengthened by it. If I have the strength to stand alone until I die. What better worship, what better testimony, than, that I fought and stood for my vows, and my marriage until the end. It's not the outcome I hope for, but it's an outcome I can live with.
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Post by tkk2 on Aug 17, 2016 22:17:48 GMT -5
It's such a roller coaster of raw emotions to stand. Ive been in that low where you question everything all over again....its rough. I also wonder if i am ready to accept all of it. I know I'm not. I fall short everyday. God knows....and loves us thru it anyway. Once i stopped standing for my marriage and started standing for God, all of these emotions changed for me. I have an amazing peace and joy now.
Tomorrow will take care of itself. But tonight God will comfort you and guide you and protect you.
My prayer for you, Eric, is Joshua 1:9.....be strong and courageous.
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Post by leandro on Aug 18, 2016 9:16:02 GMT -5
Erick, you always been a man that God uses when I've been in the spot you are in right now, I remember those days few months back where I could not take one more day of my standing and you would say something to lift me up. Today my brother I say to you don't quit, I know it's hard, I know you can't take one more day but the love of God supersedes everything that you may be feeling today. I saw this post and prayed for you in my morning prayer before I wrote something, and I felt your pain my friend. But believe me that God told me to wait on him and that's My word for you.. Don't quit!! Lift your head up and God will supply all your needs.
“Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.”
Psalm 38:15 NIV
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Post by kridycat on Aug 18, 2016 10:52:24 GMT -5
I have been in about that same place so many times. I realized God was telling me I had to let my marriage go as it is not healthy anymore. But I tried my hardest to savage it, but sometimes you can't help someone who doesn't want help or think they need help. Maybe one day he will realize it, maybe one day we could be together again, but I know it is not right now. I accept it, but it still hurts and I grieve over it at times. I pray that your situation does not come to the end that mine has. There are some good books out there to deal with separation, divorce and recovery from it. I am currently reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery and I am thinking about getting Divorce Care: Hope, Help & Healing During & After Your Divorce. God knows what is best for us and will always make something beautiful from the ashes.
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Post by william on Aug 18, 2016 12:15:46 GMT -5
Brother Eric,
I have felt and at times still feel where your at...keep fighting brother.
You are a bright light to us here with your unwavering love & trust in God. Take a step back and just breathe. I read the book "battlefield of the mind" by Joyce Meyer and it helped me a lot, try giving it a read. You have my contact info if you need anything.
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Post by Eric W. on Aug 18, 2016 18:01:44 GMT -5
Thank you for all the prayers and encouragement. I am at a low point, but I am more afraid to give up and fail God, my family, and myself in that way than I am anything else. Being rejected through 3 marriages, and having them all come to worldly divorce has left some gaping insecurities, that I am working on in my desert season, but still struggling with.
I am so very grateful for this group. That we can lift up each other and shine God's light into each other's darkest moments. You are all a blessing to this world. I love you each and every one, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
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Post by Sharon on Aug 21, 2016 11:14:56 GMT -5
Eric when Jesus got to town to help Lazarus he was too late. Lazarus sister was upset and asked why he didn't get there sooner and he was too late now, but Jesus knew this would be for Gods glory and raised him from the dead! Didn't just heal him, but revived a 3 day old dead man. He can restore your marriage Eric. Don't let the enemy convince you with divorce statistics and those lies. This isn't Gods plan for your marriage. He calls you to stand for restoration because he plans to miraculously revive what is dead.
This word is specifically for you Eric. I saw your post a few days ago and prayed about and this morning I woke up singing "walking and leaping and praising God, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk" and you came immediately to my mind that this is a word for you brother.
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Post by pstokes522 on Aug 28, 2016 23:05:55 GMT -5
Eric - I'm late reading this post, but I'd like to encourage you to quit standing for your marriage - just be obedient to God. That's what He wants from us, our love, devotion and obedience. I think if we all wake up each day expecting a miracle called 'marriage restoration' and it doesn't happen, day after day, then yes, we're all going to grow tired and weary and want to give up. And that is exactly what Satan wants. Instead, we need to stand as Christians, children of the One True God, to be obedient to His Word and His guidance. We need to wake up each day expecting a miracle, but not limit the miracle we're waiting on to be concerning our marriages. We need to be expecting and looking for miracles everywhere. Then we learn to move on, still waiting on our spouses, but living a life that glorifies God. We need to live so others look upon us as examples of faith and trust. I pray God restores your peace and endurance. You are such an encourager to all of us, I pray you receive that same kind of encouragement from us. ~ Pat
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