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Post by Adrienne on Jul 11, 2016 20:40:07 GMT -5
I agree with Sharon - pray about it and think on it, but go with your gut. If after praying, in a few days you still do not feel like you are ready or that it's right for you, I agree that you should not go.
I also had an uncomfortable situation where I went to a club with G for a birthday celebration because I felt pressured, like I couldn't say no, and it didn't turn out well for either one of us. I know now to stick to my guns when my heart says no.
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Post by pstokes522 on Jul 12, 2016 8:52:33 GMT -5
Marissa - I also feel like you should let God guide you on whether to go. But, you need to stop viewing the friends girlfriend as the enemy. I know it is hard - believe me, because I'm praying everyday for God to change the way I feel about the OW. And God is changing me! If someone brings her up in a negative way, I tell them it's not her fault, I'm sure she is a very nice person. She didn't kidnap him, D presented himself as available. If I've truly forgiven D, shouldn't I extend the same forgiveness to her? I think you should pray everyday for God to let you see this girl with His eyes - she is daughter of God that Satan manipulated, the same way he manipulated G.
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Post by marissaa91 on Jul 13, 2016 10:37:55 GMT -5
Thank you all for your words Of encouragement and prayers. The concert did come up last night, at a really awful time at night. It was late but it came up so we briefly talked about it.
I knew he was trying to hold out to see if I changed my mind since we last talked about it but I hadn't. Just thinking about it gets me all into this ball of nerves and emotions that I just know I'm not ready to deal with to that magnitude. He got upset, like I knew he would, because he thinks that we'll never be able to go to a concert again because they'll always be around. I didn't want to make it worse so I didn't comment on that. He let it go last night. But I know we're gonna talk about it today. I've thought about him going without me and idk about that either. That still gets me in knots. I'm gonna pray about it all day today and see what God has for me by the end of today. I'm trying to let go and forgive (both of them) but it's always been a long process for me to forgive.
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Post by Sharon on Jul 13, 2016 13:07:51 GMT -5
He knows that about you though Marissa. Just like you can't force him to stop doing the things you dislike, he can't force you to forgive. You have to take your time and he will have to be patient. He is taking his time coming back to God too and you are waiting for that, but it will happen. You will learn to forgove
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Post by marissaa91 on Jul 13, 2016 14:41:00 GMT -5
Thank you Sharon. I'm at such a cross roads with it. Like, I don't want to be bitter and selfish and not go. But also don't want to be angry and nervous and show up just to be smug. I want to come to a place where it would be ok for everyone. I know my husband really wants to go and he says he understands how I feel but I don't want it to be a fight. The tickets weren't expensive and we could sell them back but I know that's not the point.
Thinking about it gets me super anxious so I'm trying to not think about it and just pray and distract myself.
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Post by marissaa91 on Jul 13, 2016 15:49:18 GMT -5
I keep thinking about this time awhile back... before we got married we broke up a lot. During one of those break ups I ended up talking to and hooking up with my friends brother for a year total. One time even when my husband was away at rehab (I was drunk and don't remember it happening. My husband and I weren't together but he wanted to work it out).
He was so angry and hurt with me but look past it and came back to me. Then over a year later I went to my friends house and my husband went with me knowing that guy would be there. He looked past the whole thing and was kind, friendly. Even drove him to the store that night, just them two. I keep wondering if God is requiring that of me? It's obviously been a shorter time period and some things are different but is going to the concert something I should do, be that selfless and brave?
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Post by Adrienne on Jul 13, 2016 20:51:55 GMT -5
Keep praying Marissa! We can all give our opinions but it wouldn't be right for us to tell you what to do because God has a unique plan for you. It is already a huge praise that you and Garrett have been able to communicate about this and he can understand your perspective- that's God helping you both and you can trust that He's still there guiding this decision. Keep praying and I will too!
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Post by marissaa91 on Jul 14, 2016 2:11:24 GMT -5
I prayed off and on today. I really wasn't sure which direction God wanted me to go. I was almost thinking of just going when my husband called me and calmly said that if we didn't go to the concert then he wanted to hiking. He probably wants to smoke while there but I took it as an answer to my prayers. Praise the Lord!
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Post by Sharon on Jul 17, 2016 17:28:32 GMT -5
God speaks to me like this sometimes - reminding me of something I was trying to forget. Look...it's going to be very hard but eventually you will have to forgive your husband and this girl and be kind. God called me to reach out to my old friend who had cheated with my husband and I hated her, but God doesn't always do these things for our benefit. Maybe your husband needs to see the fruit of your relationship with God and this is an opportunity. Cover yourself in prayer if you go sister. Don't say or do anything before you take it to God. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you ask God to command your actions
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Post by pstokes522 on Jul 22, 2016 2:47:06 GMT -5
God has really been putting it on my heart lately that the time is going to come when I'm going to meet the OW. What do I do? I feel like God is wanting me to extend the same grace and forgiveness to her that I'm extending to D. When the time comes, I'm plan to introduce myself and ask to speak to her privately and hopefully just her and I can just talk, not about the affair and Dave, but just talk to get to know each other so we can be friends (or at least friendly). I don't want awkwardness between us when family functions, like birthdays, weddings & graduations throw us together. I can be the bigger person so my children don't feel caught in the middle.
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Post by tkk2 on Jul 22, 2016 5:40:48 GMT -5
Patricia, God wants you two extend the same grace and forgiveness he gave us to her. Yes, it will be awkward, but you might be the only person who ever talks to her about salvation. The klove verse today is perfect for this situation......love your enemies. Pray for them. Let the holy spirit lead the conversation.
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