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Post by Sharon on May 31, 2016 23:16:18 GMT -5
God has been doing a lot of work in me. I'm understanding what it is to have God in the first priority spot and it's amazing and peaceful and joyful. I am constantly praying that Chris truly did ask for the time off at his job and that he's able to attend that workshop next weekend. I am scared that he didn't ask for the time. That he's going to find reasons to get out of it. But at the same time, I feel God reminding me again and again to not worry about this and let him take over. Pray for me that I can let this go to God friends.
The stress of all of these years has finally gotten to me and I ended up at the ER twice this weekend. The doctors are concerned about my gall bladder and sending to me a specialist, although treating me right now for gastritis and possible ulsers. When Chris heard it was from stress, he actually said he knows he is part of my stress and I was happy that he recognizes how much I do for him and our family. Please pray for this for me too.
One thing I'm really excited about! I have been looking for Christian rings for a long time for myself. I have one, but I really was hoping to get another, but recently I started feeling God pushing me to buy Chris a ring. It's ridiculous, because Chris HATES rings and he wont even wear his wedding ring. He says it is uncomfortable and just refuses. He won't even keep it with him on deployments. But I keep feeling this pressing from God to buy the ring, so I bought him a ring this weekend. It's beautiful - silver with "Man of God" and "1 Timothy 6:11" engraved on it (which says "But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
"). It's not the right time to give it to him yet, so I am just holding onto it for now. I feel like God is going to do something amazing and Chris will truly live up to that verse some day soon. I just am really excited about it, because I feel like it's another promise coming to fruition soon (that Chris will wear his wedding ring).
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Post by leandro on Jun 1, 2016 8:03:16 GMT -5
Wow Sharon that is beautiful that God put in your heart to do what you are doing with the ring, it's such a nice and meaningful thing to do. I'm gonna pray for you regarding your health situation, again I know I have said this multiple times but God bless women like you and all the women in this group.
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Post by Sharon on Jun 3, 2016 12:27:23 GMT -5
How do you just keep saying I forgive you?! I forgive you. I forgive you! I am having such a hard day today. I asked him years ago to not talk to his ex - Meg. She's the first girl he "cheated" with (he doesn't count trading nude pics as cheating for God knows what reason). I was devastated back then and I don't understand why, but he's added her as his friend on Facebook. She's married with a kid and he's been looking at her Facebook. In fact he liked one of her pictures today. I know it's like I'm constantly looking for reasons to hate him, but I wish he would just choose to do the right thing.
I am going to church tonight so I'm happy about that. I wish I could just give up on Chris sometimes. The enemy knows how to break in and hurt my mind. I just need peace and focus. I'm tired of being hurt by Chris, but the less I care, the less it hurts right?
He sent me a photo of his schedule today showing that he did not get the time off for the every mans battle workshop. I am convinced he didn't ask for the time off at all. I am so conflicted because I felt from God recently that Chris can do this the easy or the hard way and the easy way is this workshop. I guess I'm bracing myself for more heartache but God please don't make me go through more.
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Post by Mary H on Jun 3, 2016 12:45:16 GMT -5
Let Chris go
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Post by Sharon on Jun 3, 2016 13:03:38 GMT -5
I texted Chris and said Chris be mindful of God. Please don't listen to the lies and temptations! That is the enemy creeping in to steal joy, kill our marriage, and destroy your soul. Please pray Chris. The Lord is with you and he loves you. Don't listen to the whispers of the enemy. Say out loud "in Jesus name leave" and he will run. He asked what I was going on about and I said I just don't want you to believe that things are innocent. If you are hiding something it's because it's from the enemy not from the Lord. Don't let the enemy have any of your choices. He leads to death. He asked again what I was talking about and I said That you give in to little temptations thinking it's fine. It hurts no one. But it hurts you. Any step you take towards the enemy is away from God even if it's minor. I'm saying that in this moment, cast away the demons by saying Jesus name out loud and have a victory. You have some friend on Facebook that you shouldn't have. And it's on you. You are the one damaged by having friends who will lead to destruction. I am not saying this to judge or condemn but to warn you. The little steps away from God are how the enemy works. Just be careful. You're my brother in Christ before anything else and I would hate to see you stumble again when you are trying so hard. Just be careful. He said oh ok. I don't know what this means, but for me it means that this is in Gods hands now. I did what I had to do and the rest is on him. Please pray for him today. He's in the battle
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Post by leandro on Jun 3, 2016 15:35:05 GMT -5
Sharon I know how you feel, I know it's frustrating trying to make someone see that they are in sin, but what I discover in these past months is that nothing that you do or say will change somebody's mind or heart, it's up to God to change them not us, like I said in my last post I wanted to confront my wife with what I saw on our phone records and I felt really bad but God strengthen me and I'm very thankful for that. So the best weapon that we have is our prayer to God and there is where we get our strength. God bless you Sharon.
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Post by Adrienne on Jun 3, 2016 18:18:50 GMT -5
Sharon, I am still praying for you and Chris. I know it's hard to keep forgiving despite all the hurt...
My go to verse on this is Matthew 18:21-22...
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
When I am feeling overwhelmed I try to remember all that Jesus has forgiven us and focus on that... I know it's so hard but remember our favorite verse; God has good plans for us. Try to get back to that spot where you can put all your focus on God instead of Chris and have that amazing peace that He gives us..
I will keep praying!
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Post by marissaa91 on Jun 4, 2016 0:10:04 GMT -5
I'm praying for you and Chris. I understand how hard it is to keep forgiving. I've been back and forth with that lately too. But keep speaking truth to him and seeking God in guidance. Adrienne is spot on with that verse. Even though it's hard and we want to not forgive we have to work through everything with God and come to forgiveness.
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Post by Sharon on Jun 4, 2016 21:23:01 GMT -5
Our pastor gave an awesome sermon last night about Jacob and Esau. Jacob stole Esaus blessings and destroyed their relationship and when, years later, Jacob went to reconcile the relationship, he wrestled with God before he saw his brother. He saw Gods face and God blessed him and named him Israel. When Jacob saw Esau, Esau forgave him and they were able to reconcile the relationship. But first Jacob has to look God in the face and wrestle with him. He was saying that when we have a relationship that needs help, we have to first go to God and wrestle with the problem with Him and seek his face. Then second we can go to the person. So right now I am not fighting with Chris or bringing anything to him. I am praying. I'm enjoying God. I'm doing the things that I want to and need to do. I have to reduce my stress and Chris is nothing I should be stressing over so I'm stepping back again.
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