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Post by leandro on May 30, 2016 11:34:31 GMT -5
Hello guys, my stand has been extra hard these days, it feels like my wife got use to live without me, she calls me like once a week just to see how I am but she doesn't sound trouble anymore, my friends tell me that she keeps posting pics regarding love and how happy she looks, I try hard to ignore these things and not think about it but it's hard. Again I'm in a point where I feel I can't do this anymore, my family talks like everything is lost in my marriage, my best friend as well, even my pastor said that it has been a long time since my stand and that if I feel peace That I just have to pray God for guidance. I am getting attack left and right with women texting me to go out and I keep refusing, I don't know how longer I can refuse, it's very hard specially when these women seem to have a huge interest for me unlike my wife who just calls me to see if I'm ok. Guys I am in one of the lowest point I've been on this stand, I need guidance I feel like I'm gonna quit at any moment now. Thank you guys again for putting your time in reading this. God bless you all and any word of advise will be appreciate it.
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Post by Sharon on May 30, 2016 13:03:11 GMT -5
Leandro I really think every mans battle would help you out a lot. If you're not a big book guy they have a daily devotional book instead. The enemy is definitely working to drive a wedge between you and your wife but brother if God has compelled you to stand, then don't believe the enemies lies. He intends to restore your marriage and not to let it go to ruin. Don't allow the enemy to try to make things worse. Do you believe that once your wife comes back to you, all of a sudden all the tempting women in this world will disappear?! Of course not! They were there before and snuck their way into your marriage and when you and your wife are restored, they will still try to tempt you. Right now, God is teaching you brother. Your marriage vows are not contingent on if your wife gives you attention or not. They're not contingent on your happiness, although that will come with a good marriage. You have to learn through fighting against the temptations right now, to be a loyal and dedicated husband and God is using this time to teach you. We know how hard this is brother, but don't give in! God is strengthening you and you will overcome this and get your wife back. And when your marriage is restored, because of what you are learning now when you have the great motivation of your marriage restored, you will be able to stay faithful to your wife and vows to her and to God, when you have very little motivation.
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Post by leandro on May 30, 2016 15:04:02 GMT -5
Sharon those are very powerful words, thank you very much. I do read a lot and I'm def buying that book asap. I guess you are right that the enemy is attacking and can't give in. I give thanks to God for this group your responses always come at the right time.
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Post by Eric W. on May 30, 2016 16:15:45 GMT -5
I was going to post a response, but honestly, Sharon hit it. Our vows to our husbands and wives aren't based on them returning anything. We said in sickness and in health and this is just a spiritual sickness. We can choose to honor our vows and learn from the temptations the Devil is throwing at us, and become a stronger Christian in the process. I will be praying for your brother.
And Sharon, I will be honest, I have seen you mention this every man's battle site quite a few times and I haven't taken the time to look it up, but I think I am going to change that today. I pray you all are having a Blessed Memorial Day.
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Post by william on May 31, 2016 19:29:32 GMT -5
Brother,
Sharon is right on point. I know where your coming from, I have not been on a lot because myself I have reclused myself into praying and reading. My wife doesn't speak, I found out she isn't going to church, when I was spending time with our daughter her friend was over and was talking about how there going to a concert & getting vip tickets and so on...my daughter went to friends house cross the street to play at which I said bye to my daughter walked her over to friends house and left. I text my wife I was leaving since my daughter was not at the house.
Does it hurt? Absolutely-if I allow myself to think and dwell it takes me to a place I never want to be again. I throw myself down at our Fathers feet and pray...most of times I can only get out, lead me cause I'm lost & can't do this. He stills my heart and reaffirms my stand just have keep walking the path brother.
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Post by Adrienne on May 31, 2016 20:08:56 GMT -5
Hola Leandro, to echo Eric and William... Sharon is right. I know it is very hard but I am praying for strength for you brother.
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Post by leandro on Jun 1, 2016 7:54:47 GMT -5
Well, my wife called yesterday and said if she accidentally called me because she had a few drinks, I said no and thought that maybe that was an excuse to talk to me. I looked up online our account to see if she actually called me but she didn't, I did notice that she still talks to the same guy that I told her not to talk to from work because I knew what he was looking for in her, and that was back in September when I told her that. I am debating whether to confront her and ask her if she has anything with him or just remain quite like I have been and keep showing love and support in everything that she does, again I've been thinking that maybe God has someone better for me and that he is showing me the only door out that He has on his word. Today they asked me to do the teaching at my bible study group and its about when you are feeling discourage. I pray God for discernment and that his will be done, not mine. God bless you guys.
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Post by pstokes522 on Jun 1, 2016 23:23:32 GMT -5
Leandro - as hard as it is, don't confront your wife about continuing to talk to the other guy. She will know you looked at her phone records, and that won't go well for you. At this point all you can do is pray, turn it all over to God and continue to show her unconditional love. Basically, we're all in the same situation - some of us have been on this journey longer, and we're all at different stages of the journey, but it all boils down to one question. Do we believe the God we pray to is the One True God? Do we really believe it? Because if we do, why wouldn't we trust that He can handle our wayward prodigals after He has proven Himself powerful enough to create this entire universe and everything in it, including the same 'men & women' we want Him to change. He parted the Red Sea. He stopped the Jordan River from flowing so the Israelites could pass. He was with David when he killed Goliath. He was with Daniel in the lion's den. He was with Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego in the fiery furnace. It is so hard, but we have to put our Faith in Our Lord. If we can't do that, how can we ever expect our prodigal spouses to become believers and put their faith in Him?
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Post by kridycat on Jun 2, 2016 7:07:45 GMT -5
I can understand where you are coming from to a point. My middle sister tries to push me to go out and sometimes its like it has to be a guy, but I'm not ready for any of that. My husband told me when we were having our talk last Wednesday that his girls at work were trying to push him to go out on dates. I really want to take those girls and tell them Hey both he and I are still married to each other. If you're not ready for it, that's okay. Sometimes we need time to ourselves to work things out. I have gone out with my sisters and sometimes their friends as well to go out and have fun. I get we shouldn't keep ourselves trapped inside and not socialize. We have to do things at our own pace and the people around us need to understand that. The only person who knows what tomorrow will bring is God, so we just have to trust in him.
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