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Fighting
May 2, 2016 11:37:01 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by marissaa91 on May 2, 2016 11:37:01 GMT -5
So it's a long story but yesterday my husband got caught in a lie over something small and dumb. But when he was caught he got very angry but then immediately called back to admit it, apologize, and said we'd talk about it at home. Then when it came time to talk things over it was late and it turned into a rough fight. He promised to work on neing more honest but thwn he startwd to complain about other things that I do. I felt like he was trying to be the victim (again) but he was basically saying that all I do is play the victim and blame him! So it was hard because we both feel and look at things in the same way... and then the Lord reminded me that true love shouldn't expect anything. Even though I DESERVE to be respected, honored, cherished, etc. If I don't, then it shouldn't change how I love him. I said all of that out loud and cried. I apologized for being selfish in that regard and he just said it was ok. Then I became afraid that saying all of that would cause him to take advantage of me. I prayed but it still heavy on me. Please pray for us. I need the Lord to change both our hearts. We're both looking at this selfishly.
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Post by leandro on May 2, 2016 15:24:43 GMT -5
I will pray for you Marissa, but I don't think you did anything wrong. I remember I used to do and say similar things as your husband and tell to my wife that she was too overwhelming with everything regarding to what I do or who I talk to, but in reality she was just taking good care of her husband ( oh how I miss those days :/ ) and don't think that he will take advantage of you, on the contrary he should be proud of having a great woman that loves you no matter what he does.
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Post by marissaa91 on May 2, 2016 18:18:28 GMT -5
Thank you for that encouragement Leandro. It's nice to here from someone who was on the other side of a similar situation. It's hard to love him sometimes and he admits that, told me he doesn't always think he deserves my kindness, but it's hard for him to change without pointing at me along the way. Now, I'm not perfect, I know I do things wrong but it is hard sometimes to always be pointed at.
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Post by Mary H on May 3, 2016 8:47:41 GMT -5
I get in that place too.. Tony definatly takes advantage of me & believes that he doesn't, but that his hurt feelings toward me justify his hurtful words & actions.
I feel takin advantage of to the max, but I'm trusting Jesus to work it out & guide my choices
Praying for u
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Post by Adrienne on May 3, 2016 10:12:29 GMT -5
Praying for you both, Marissa and Mary. I have felt the same way but really try not to obsess over it... the thing is that our spouses are still in sin and still not right with God the way they should be... it is inevitable that they will not necessarily treat us the way we should. Yet we should try and continue to show love as best as we can anyway. Like Mary said, we can trust in our protector Jesus; He's got our back and will be taking care of us even through this hurt.
Don't get too down, Marissa! This stand has its ups and downs but we can always rely on God to carry us through.
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Post by Sharon on May 3, 2016 16:12:10 GMT -5
Something I've really been hearing from God recently is that feelings are extremely deceptive and the enemy uses that - the spirit of fear. We feel bad about something, so that makes it bad? No! Jesus did not feel good about being sacrificed but he did it none the less because it was Gods will. We aren't called to be always comfortable. We are called to be always faithful and trust God. Ultimately, His plans are for good even if we have to be uncomfortable to get there
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Post by Adrienne on May 3, 2016 17:04:27 GMT -5
Thanks for that perspective Sharon... I have heard/seen/read/felt that before but it is such an important idea that it's good to have reminders. Our feelings do not define us! We have to look at our feelings and then lean on our FAITH.
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