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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 18, 2016 23:36:06 GMT -5
So today was my first day at counseling. I went by myself because Garrett and I agreed weeks ago that I'd talk to this girl myself and he'd talk to her husband. (They're both pastors) Then later down the road we'd come together. He hasn't spoken to her husband yet but I'll keep praying about it.
Today was just a general overview of where we both are spiritually and where our relationship is. So she had me describe different things I'm concerned about and just talk about what's been happening and how I feel. Even though today wasn't seriously in depth I felt so much lighter being able to say yeah this happened, this is how I feel about it, and this is how I view it. I look forward to being able to meet again.
How do you all feel about marital counseling and individual counseling? Has anyone else done it and how was your experience?
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Post by Mary H on Apr 19, 2016 10:57:22 GMT -5
Tony & I did marriage councling at our old church before we separated. It was great at first! Tony was who had us go.. He made sure every Sunday we went. We did it together at first, then separate for a little bit, then together again. At some point he stopped caring. Basically never felt like he was ever going to be good enough.. So he quit going.. Then eventually quit going to church altogether, then eventually moved out. He was trying so hard to live for God & do the right things but it never really seemed to matter. Anyway- our counclor was good, but when it came down to Tony leaving & me feeling called to stand, she was very rude to me & insisted I was wrong.. My advice would be to make sure your not just going to councling & calling it time with the Lord. B sure your fallowing the Spirit more than a humans advice.
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Post by tkk2 on Apr 19, 2016 11:44:40 GMT -5
Mary! Very similar to my situation with a Christian counselor. Saw her for a short time after we separated (Dana saw someone else) Anywsy, she was trying to prepare me fir divorce more than anything....i think it was good how it happened though, because it brought life to my stand. I agree, that you would want to stay in prayer through out that process, making sure that you are aligned with God.
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Post by william on Apr 19, 2016 12:50:03 GMT -5
I see a counselor that has a PhD in psychology and in theology, it has helped me more than I can say.
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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 19, 2016 18:10:52 GMT -5
I'm sorry TK and Mary. I'm sorry that was both of your experiences. William I'm glad to hear your having a positive experience, that's amazing. So far she's just heard me out and told me to hold on even when I feel like giving up. That I'm farther ahead spiritually so I may be frustrated and disappointed a long the way but that I'm a married adult now and I have to hold out for the long haul if I want to see results.
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Post by Sharon on Apr 19, 2016 18:33:08 GMT -5
We have also been to several different counselors. One guy was good, but he convicted Chris heavily and Chris didn't want to go back to him. All the others really couldn't understand our situation (they didn't understand why I was forgiving and would stay with him after everything he'd done) and it was like trying to explain my relationship with God and my stand instead of actually getting anywhere with helping our marriage. I am so glad that you've found some people who are actually willing and able to help you guys and that Garrett is being responsive to counseling. For each person, different things are going to work. For me, I love worshiping. I feel closest to God when I am praising him. Chris gets more from a really good sermon. He hears the Lord's voice clearly in that. I am going to pray that you will each be able to hear the Lord through the voices of your counselors and that it will be moving and give you revelations.
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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 19, 2016 23:06:28 GMT -5
Well at this moment he's talking about going to men's bible study. The guy he would talk to for counseling is there so he would get to know him through that before he talks to him about everything. Which I think would help him in that area, plus more studies and church is always a plus! So we'll see what happens when next week comes around.
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Post by Sharon on Apr 20, 2016 7:54:11 GMT -5
That's awesome news! I am going to pray that he is moved to join the Bible Study. Just remember Marissa, whatever happens (whether he chooses to go to Bible study or listen to the counselor or not), you keep your eyes and your focus on God. Don't let what Garrett does or doesn't do distract you from the Lord.
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Post by fordlindsey5314 on Apr 20, 2016 10:39:53 GMT -5
I started seeing a counselor a few months after Andy left me. I wanted to work on my depression and thoughts of suicide more than anything. I really enjoyed going to counseling and it was helping me a lot. But when my counselor realized I didn't believe in divorce and wanted to stand, she got really rude. She constantly pressured me to file for divorce. I didn't feel right about that and stopped going. Shortly after that I found RMM and the First 5 app and met a really good person, also a stander, on the app. Then I found this website as well. All of this has helped me in my stand. I miss counseling and hopefully I'll be able to find one that is more caring and understanding.
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Counseling
Apr 20, 2016 11:09:13 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Adrienne on Apr 20, 2016 11:09:13 GMT -5
I love to head that he's considering bible study! Just the fact that he's expressed that is a definite praise report! And Sharon is totally right... Keep praying for Garrett but focus on God and your own relationship with Him too :-) I'll continue in prayer for you both!
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Post by leanna72 on Apr 20, 2016 14:47:10 GMT -5
I have been to 10 sessions of marriage counseling, and also have a personal counselor that I have been going to for about 8 months. I laid out my stand for my marriage and goal of reconciliation in both. It is hard for my counselor to accept that I have stayed with justin but she still helps me to regulate my feelings and struggles to work towards my goals. She has not been rude to me ever. I also did a "counseling alternative" marriage program. I honestly think that was one of my biggest supports to standing. It was marriage fitness boot camp by Mort fertel. You can go through it as a couple or a standalone with an obstinate spouce. I highly recommend it. Justin didn't get much out of counseling but I also feel that he didn't have the motivation to work on things. (I found out he was still in his affair durring all of it.)
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