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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 9, 2016 16:22:53 GMT -5
I don't know if any of you deal with this but I've become aware that my husband is very good at playing victim. If something doesn't happen the way he wants or plans he gets this type of attitude and says some pasive aggressive things like he's trying to make me feel guilty or bad for him, even if it's not exactly my fault. I try to pray that I keep eyes on myself so that I'm seeing things clearly and not always seeing him as being manipulative. I don't want to apologize for something that I didn't do but I don't want to have an attitude either. So trying to navigate through this is interesting.
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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 9, 2016 16:33:11 GMT -5
Also, on another note, I'm trying to navigate with doing everything with pure motives. I posted some pictures of my husband, me, and nephew yesterday on my FB and tagged him in it. I did it partially because it was a good moment but afterwards I could tell that I did it so his friends gf would see them. Being of pure heart and pure motive seems to be a struggle lately. Any tips?
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Post by Mary H on Apr 9, 2016 20:36:44 GMT -5
It's just keeping that focus sister.. Keeping Him before him in your heart. I was just talking with God today about how it's so easy to idolize Tony becauae he's tangible. They are right there, But God is intangable & to really embrace His live we must seek & search Him
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Post by Sharon on Apr 10, 2016 10:27:09 GMT -5
Marissa, I totally get the motives thing. Trust me when I say this, those women who are cheating with our spouses don't care one single ounce about our lives. She is not likely getting on your or your husbands facebook. I talked to one of the women my husband had an affair with and asked her to leave him alone. She was rude and insulting and posted crap about me on facebook. Why would asking her to back off change her actions? Or putting pics up? Of course it doesn't change them. They have God sized holes in them too and they really need Him to fill that in. Instead, I'm supposed to "love my enemy and pray for those who persecute me". Ugh...No I haven't gotten to that point with all of the women yet. I am going to be praying for you in this sister.
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Post by marissaa91 on Apr 10, 2016 11:18:17 GMT -5
Well at when he left God put it on my heart to pray for those women who intervened with our relationship over the years. He never cheated on me with them but they were just nasty women who meddle with him and me. So I started to do that so I could learn to forgive them. It's been working. However, this girl is a new thing. Because we're married it counts as cheating even though he wasn't living with me and it isn't going on anymore. So because of that it's something I'm working through to navigate properly. I have to remind myself that God would show me if he was up to no good so I need to stop worrying and freaking out. But it's hard sometimes.
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Post by Adrienne on Apr 10, 2016 18:35:26 GMT -5
Hi Marissa, I can identify with you on both accounts. I try to choose when I verbally respond in any substantial way to my husband. Sometimes when they're in that kind of mood, you have to just let them get it out and try and stay out of the way. Try to sympathize without necessarily taking the (unfair) blame on yourself. And then maybe later when he is calmer, you can try and talk to him about it from a different perspective. This sometimes works well with my husband. But it's difficult because instinctually, we get defensive when we feel that we are being manipulated or blamed for something we didn't do! We have to pray for guidance and for the wisdom to hold our tongue when we need to and speak gently when that's the best course.
On the idea of being careful about our motives... girl, I'm with you. It's hard! We have to continually pray for guidance and examine the choices we are about to make to see if they line up with scripture.
I'll be praying for you on both accounts!
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