|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 27, 2016 14:13:11 GMT -5
Hi everyone, Happy Easter!! I hope you all are having a wonderful day  I'm feeling pretty down. I miss my husband and I have some things on my mind that I just can't shake. The last thing I said to my husband the day before he left was that I wanted to kill myself. I hurt my husband enough to leave and I'm having trouble forgiving myself for those words. I no longer feel that way but last time I talked to my husband, February I think, he said I was dead to him, it was like I died that night. That hurts me so much, and I just fear that my husband will never see me as the girl he fell in love with ever again. We are not communicating right now... every time I try to talk to him, he just gets more angry and so I've been led to be quiet and let God work. We've been seperated almost a year. I know I can't rush God's timing but I miss my husband like crazy. I just really need prayers and encouraging words today. Thank ya'll so much! Have a happy Easter |
|
|
|
Post by Mary H on Mar 27, 2016 14:23:28 GMT -5
Praying
|
|
|
|
Post by marissaa91 on Mar 27, 2016 15:38:45 GMT -5
I'll be praying. Even when it doesn't seem like it God is working.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 27, 2016 15:46:07 GMT -5
Thank you Mary and Marissa I definitely need to remember that Marissa. I know God is always working. I guess I just wish I could get some kindness from my husband so I could be reassured that he is changing. I know it doesn't work that way though ha. I just really hate not talking to him. |
|
owen
New Member
Posts: 13 
|
Post by owen on Mar 27, 2016 15:53:17 GMT -5
Praying for you.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 27, 2016 15:57:45 GMT -5
Thank you Owen |
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Mar 27, 2016 18:57:40 GMT -5
Lindsey, your husband can not get to a point of forgiveness if you can not learn to forgive yourself. Remember repentance is doing something, realizing you did wrong, and turning around and choosing not to do it again. If you are truly repentant for what happened, the next thing you need to do is forgive yourself. God forgave you instantly. His son died for that sin. He gave you grace so that you can move forward. And you will never be able to move forward and fulfill His will for you, if you get stuck at being angry at yourself. Forgive yourself sister and then move forward in what God has for you - His purpose and will for your life. When your husband sees that transformation in you - that you have forgiven yourself and you love yourself, he will start to want what you have. There is so much hope here.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 27, 2016 19:17:57 GMT -5
Wow Sharon, thank you, your response brought tears to my eyes!! I'm trying very hard to forgive myself. I have bad moments and today was just an off day for me. Thankfully I found ya'll at just the right time!
|
|
|
|
Post by william on Mar 28, 2016 1:36:47 GMT -5
Lindsey,
You need to forgive yourself sister,
God has already forgiven you as soon as you asked and laid it down at His feet.
Think of it like this;
forgiving is the revolt against the "unfairness" of love, when we forgive we choose to ignore those feelings that make us want to "get even, or hurt those as we have been hurt". If we decide to accept and come to the honest and true realization that God forgave us when then release ourselves from our own painful past transgressions.
The world today people automatically want someone to "pay" when wronged, this is sad because it keeps the vicious cycle of hatred going. All that is needed...is forgiveness, mercy, compassion and most of all Love. Love is what God has shown us when we did not deserve it at all, the blood of Jesus Christ was spilled on the cross so that we shall be forgiven and have eternal life. It has to start with each one of us not carrying that burden of un-forgiveness of ourselves because if we don't it can & will take root as resentment in a piece of our heart that could, should and would be filled with Gods amazing love.
When we forgive ourselves first then others we uncuff our spirit from malice and can then be free to restore the relationship that would otherwise be "lost" forever because then, we will be fully filled and be able to show Gods forgiveness, mercy, compassion, grace and Love to others as he has given to us.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 28, 2016 6:58:26 GMT -5
Wow William, thank you for putting it that way. I guess I just feel so awful for hurting my husband and that's why it's taken me so long to forgive myself. I take his angry words because I feel I deserve them. But I need to realize I don't deserve any of his hateful words at all. It just hurts me because he hasn't forgiven me yet, not enough to be with me anyway. I'm gonna do my best to work through this though, and learn to forgive myself, even if my husband hasn't. Thank you so much!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Mar 28, 2016 15:55:36 GMT -5
The other thing I have to remind myself (constantly) is that my husband is fallen and how he behaves towards me is not truly him. He has cheated and this man the way God created him is not a cheater. He lies and God didn't create him a liar. He's opening his ears to the enemy and believing the lies. So when Chris says mean words or cheats or lies, I have to remember this is not him. This is the enemy attacking me and attacking him and Chris is falling into that. I have to be stronger in those moments so God can use me to share the truth with him.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 28, 2016 16:50:19 GMT -5
Thank you Sharon for that reminder. When my husband says mean things to me, or I remember the mean things he's said, I worry that maybe letting him go and moving on is the right thing to do, because who treats someone like that, someone that they love and said they'd be with forever?? But then I remember that this isn't who my husband is, and I have to forgive him for letting the enemy in. It just really hurts me sometimes, especially when my mind plays every hurtful word over and over and won't shut off.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 28, 2016 16:52:25 GMT -5
Also... how will my husband ever realize that the enemy is attacking him, and how can I help him realize that if he won't communicate with me?? I just feel so stuck and don't know what to do.
|
|
|
|
Post by Eric W. on Mar 28, 2016 18:22:37 GMT -5
Sometimes we aren't the ones that God uses to talk to our prodigals. They may see or hear about how God is moving in our life, or God may choose to speak to them in some entirely different way, that will remind them of us. Opening those doors back up. Just because God may not be speaking to our prodigal THROUGH us, doesn't mean he isn't speaking to them, and leading them closer to him. Just something to remember when the communication isn't happening.
|
|
|
|
Post by fordlindsey5314 on Mar 28, 2016 21:21:54 GMT -5
Thank you Eric for explaining that to me. My husband pushes everyone that cares away, so I constantly pray that he will let God, someone with a strong Godly influence, in to his life.
|
|
