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Post by Sharon on Mar 24, 2016 18:29:53 GMT -5
After this whole ordeal with the airport and just now getting back to my parents house (not even home yet), I can't help myself. I am so angry. I'm angry at Chris. Im trying to be a good woman. I'm trying to do for him. I can't believe I keep telling him again and again that I can't handle another deployment. Please not another one. Please. Please! And he's gone. He's not here. And I'm going to work and taking care of the kids and the bills and he keeps spending money on himself and getting loans for things - instant gratification crap, and going away on trips and deployments. I am alone again. He doesn't care, he doesn't help. I'm falling back on God again. I'm asking my parents again for help. I'm asking my sister to cover me at work again. I'm leaning on everyone else because he's gone. I just can't help myself. I'm so tired and sad and I'm so so angry. My walls are coming back up guys. Pray for me please. I'm pressing into God and I know he's here for me, but I can't believe Chris is still...just he still is doing him. Always doing him.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 24, 2016 18:43:27 GMT -5
I'm praying for you!!
I know what that's like for sure, it's so easy to get to that place
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Post by Mary H on Mar 24, 2016 18:44:45 GMT -5
I'm so sensitive to it that it usually only takes about a day & 1/2 of me not reading the word or praying much for me to slip into that place.. But I know you will press forward & get through
Your a strong woman!!
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Angry
Mar 24, 2016 18:49:43 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by william on Mar 24, 2016 18:49:43 GMT -5
Sister, I'm praying for you. Mssg or call me if you need to sister, I get off at 8pm (650pm) now, should be home 9ish
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Post by Mary H on Mar 24, 2016 19:54:56 GMT -5
I want to look out for my brothers & sisters.
I want to say that it's VERY dangerous to go beyond this app with the opposite gender. Especially with us all in vulnerable places within our marriages
I've herd so many stories of the most faithful falling to temptation in situations that begin innocent.
I say this with love
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owen
New Member
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Angry
Mar 24, 2016 20:42:28 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by owen on Mar 24, 2016 20:42:28 GMT -5
You make a great point Mary
I agree with you.
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Angry
Mar 24, 2016 20:44:05 GMT -5
via mobile
leanna72 likes this
Post by william on Mar 24, 2016 20:44:05 GMT -5
Mary, I understand your concern & thought process and that is not anywhere in the realm of what I meant for it to come across. Chris and I have similar history and have done a lot of the same things/mistakes. Sharon knows where I was coming from, and I speak to her husband as well, Thanks for looking out-I didn't think about it in that sense.
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Post by william on Mar 24, 2016 20:51:59 GMT -5
I don't single out anyone on here, I have made it clear that I am available for anyone to text/email or call me if in situation and need someone to talk to or to pray for/over them. It is what God has laid on my heart to do, I have no hidden agendas or ulterior motives than to help when someone needs little more than to just read on our blog site.
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 24, 2016 21:10:32 GMT -5
Sharon, I am sorry you're hurting. I'm sorry you're tired... I know this hurts so bad. I know it seems endless. I know they seem so selfish and it hurts.
Tonight my church had a special little prayer service. They asked me to preach for it... This is a HUGE honor! I have been at that church about 3.5 years and this was only the second time I have ever been asked to preach. I asked G to please consider coming to hear me... And he said no. He didn't have any important plans, he just stayed home. Just because he doesn't want to go to church. That hurt! It's hard, but I am choosing not to get angry. Praise God that He is giving me the strength!
I know it's so hard that they choose the world over us... I don't really have anything tangible to offer you to fix it, to make it better. But what I can do is powerful because we have a God who hears: I am praying for you, Sharon. I'm praying for Chris. I'm praying for your stepdaughter, for your children, for your parents and Chris's.
Dear God, I lift Sharon and Chris and their families up to you tonight. I ask for you to please guide each of them according to your perfect plan. Embrace them with your Holy Spirit and speak to them so clearly that they cannot ignore your call. Please console Sharon in her anger, fear, hurt, and sadness. I reprehend any influence of the enemy that is dragging her down tonight in Jesus' name... I beg you Lord that you cleanse these negative emotions from her heart and mind and wrap her up in your immense love. Fill her up with the bountiful fruit of your Spirit and let her cup overflow with a peace that surpasses understanding. Call her heart and eyes back to you Lord, and whisper into her soul the reminder that you have a perfect plan for her life and marriage. We all have these moments of fear my Lord but today I call on your promise that you are with us always and will never abandon us. We declare our trust in you, God, and we give ourselves, our lives, our husbands and wives, all back to you. In Jesus' name.. Amen.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 24, 2016 21:28:22 GMT -5
I don't think that way about you, it's very clear your motives are upright brother I've just herd lots of stories with opposite gender friendships & I felt led to post that comment No hard feelings  |
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Post by tkk2 on Mar 24, 2016 22:09:25 GMT -5
Sharon, i dont know if this will help. After my husbsnd and i separated i saw a Christian therapist for a while. One of the first things she said to me was that I'm "over functioning" for my husband. I'm a type-a overachiever anyway so it was just part if me do to it all. Once i learned our love languages i realized i shot myself in the foot, because I'm an acts of service person. I'd ask for something around the house to get done ....basically wanting it yesterday....and not giving him time to do it...so, next thing you know i was cutting the grass, AND grocery shopping AND paying the bills. Now, my true priorities are back in line. I'm praying for you that God will show you how to stand on your own....actually think of god as your spouse and go to him for all of it. Stay strong! Eyes in him!
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 25, 2016 10:33:30 GMT -5
I understand how you feel Sharon. It's hard to be married and be alone. And It's harder when he's also doing whatever he pleases. But don't let the anger or bitterness take root! Use this time to really lean on God and ask him to change in you whatever needs to be changed so that it may be a light to your husband. Pray that your husband see God in you at all times and is influenced by it. Don't give up. My parents were unequally yoked for years. It was always a fight and varies things happened. But my mom never gave up. About 2 years ago my dad started coming to church and both my parents started to make changes in themselves after 16 years (they've been married 18 and together 24). My dad is in church by his own choosing and they both have a long way to go but they have such a blessed marriage now. The road may be long and hard but the blessing will come.
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Angry
Mar 25, 2016 12:24:53 GMT -5
Post by Adrienne on Mar 25, 2016 12:24:53 GMT -5
Sharon how are you doing today? Any better?
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Post by Sharon on Mar 25, 2016 15:55:24 GMT -5
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. Got home finally last night around 11. The whole storm and stuck in the airport thing was a real nightmare and I was angry because I expected Chris to care about the fact that I was stuck. I didn't realize it until after I got some rest that he was truly upset. He was upset because he wanted to see us. He was more upset about the fact that we didn't make it out there, then that we were trapped here. So I apologized to him, because I had lashed out at him while I was angry, and I told him I realized how disappointed he was. It was really eye opening. God has been speaking to me so much. Yesterday when I was praying (I still hadn't gotten home yet), I felt like I needed to get to church and my mom asked me right then to come to a dinner at the church with her - she had two tickets and my dad wasn't going to make it. So I went to church last night before I came home. It was a real blessing. Also, our anniversary is coming up on Sunday/Easter. I reminded Chris about that today and he told me that it was a sign - God was bringing our marriage back to life. Lol I know he's being silly, but it was cute and it made me really happy to hear him say that. He also got to talk to my step daughter and our son today, so I am feeling relieved. I wish we had made it, but I know God wanted us here.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 25, 2016 18:48:21 GMT -5
By the way can I just say how much I love all of you?! Mary thank you for your concerns and wise words. William thank you also for being a loving brother and taking up my cross when I need the support. I love this family and fellowship and I couldn't do it without you guys! I feel like I'm finally part of believers that keep each other on the narrow path in every way, even saying things to each other that may be hard to hear. We're all here to bless each other and keep each other on that path. Thank you guys
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