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Post by Sharon on Mar 20, 2016 23:06:12 GMT -5
I was convicted at church today. Our pastor, as we were taking communion, spoke about not holding anything against our brothers in our hearts before we take of the body and the blood. That we taint our communion and dishonor the Lord when we do that, and *she* came into my mind. You know...that woman who was my friend. Who betrayed me as deeply as a friend can. I still am holding onto the bitterness and the anger. And our pastor said that anyone that we look at. Anyone in the whole world that we can see - God is crazy about them. He loves them truly and deeply and he died to save them. He loves them with everything He has. Ugh...it was so horribly convicting. I prayed as our pastor was praying for us before the communion and was fighting with Him. I told him I don't want to reach out, I don't want to show love. It's too much. Can't he make someone else do it. I don't wish bad on her, but I don't want to be loving towards her either. Please God, just give it to someone else. I finally gave up. I told Him fine. If He truly wants me to do it, then would he put a desire in me for it. At least can he give me that.
I messaged her on facebook after church. I told her that God had put it on my heart to reach out to her and how has she been. She responded, saying she has been thinking of me a lot lately. She hasn't said anything else yet. God, please just use this. I still hate her. I can't help myself, I do. I know you don't want this. I am submitting Lord. I am obeying and trying to show your love. If you want me to truly speak to her and display your love, then just take me over and use me to speak to her. I need strength to show your love, because I can't do it on my own.
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owen
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Post by owen on Mar 21, 2016 6:28:52 GMT -5
Remember forgiveness also. Forgiving is for your well being and not theirs. It may help make it easier for you to connect with her. God's love never fails. God bless.
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Post by tkk2 on Mar 21, 2016 6:47:41 GMT -5
I agree with Owen...you have to give the hurt and anger to God. Its hard. ...i get it. In my own situation i have prayed many times, heartfeltly, for the OW. She hasn't been in the picture since my husband left 16 months ago. But if i want to receive god's forgiveness, i first must forgive.
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 21, 2016 7:27:35 GMT -5
Oh man, Sharon, this is heavy stuff! I so feel your pain! In my own case the OW is far away and I will probably never meet her; I can't imagine the hurt of it being someone close to you. I am proud of you for listening to God despite how difficult it is. The others are right; I really encourage you to pray for forgiveness. Remember that forgiveness is a daily choice that GOD gives us the strength to make, over and over again. (70x7 remember?) But if He has put this on your heart, He will give you the strength, the words, the spirit of love. Keep praying for Him to guide every moment of this interaction. My thought right now is that though this will surely be painful and hard, I feel that it will probably lead you so much closer to God and to new blessings that He has planned for you!
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 21, 2016 7:29:54 GMT -5
Another thought... We all know that the hurt we have faced in our marriages was not God's plan. All of it is from the enemy tempting the flesh to destroy godly marriages. But God allowed it to happen (He is sovereign!)...
Sometimes I think we are given these intense opportunities to extend forgiveness so that we can truly understand Jesus' amazing love... Just a thought. I'll be praying over this for you, sister.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 21, 2016 7:59:56 GMT -5
Praying!
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Post by Sharon on Mar 21, 2016 8:00:31 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much! It was easier to forgive the others. Some of them didn't know he was married and I almost see them as victims because they believed he cared for them. Some of them did, but didn't know me so it was hard for them to care. Just the one woman - she was supposed to be my friend. I counseled her through hard times in her own relationship. Our kids played together. We have gone on vacations with them. I know I can do this. I was able to forgive my husband again and again. I am working hard on the bitterness there. I know God has a plan for this. Please pray the enemy doesn't use this for evil - I got a small satisfaction seeing her status on Facebook now says single and I can't do this! If my husband is what ruined their marriage, then I am guilty for that too. I am trying, but please pray for me too! I am choosing even though it is hard to follow God in this so pray for strength for me
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 21, 2016 9:37:15 GMT -5
Sharon, I understand what you're saying in your most recent post but I want to correct something huge that you expressed... YOU ARE NOT GUILTY for the failure of anyone else's marriage!! Not one little bit! This was a choice of your husband and of this friend, and if that led to their marriage breaking up, it was not because of anything you did. It is their fault and the fault of the enemy, the #1 destroyer of marriages... NOT yours. That is a lie from the enemy so please don't let it take root.
Pray continually for God to fill you with His Spirit so you can see this woman with His eyes. Also pray for discernment of what He wants from this interaction... You may not need to be her best friend all over again; that may not be what God is asking from you.. Perhaps she just needs to see an example of God's grace. Stay in prayer and don't let the enemy interfere in what is God's business. I'll keep praying for you also!
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owen
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Post by owen on Mar 21, 2016 9:45:49 GMT -5
Sharon.... You are not responsible for his actions. Don't put that burden on yourself. GOD forgives the first time you ask. Forgive yourself. Remember it's not a feeling. It's knowing in your heart you are and have forgiven. Your doing good. Stay focused on HIM and HIS love
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Post by Sharon on Mar 21, 2016 9:47:57 GMT -5
You guys are so awesome and encouraging. Thank you so much for saying that
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owen
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Post by owen on Mar 21, 2016 10:25:58 GMT -5
Your welcome.
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