|
|
Post by Eric W. on Mar 19, 2016 19:18:57 GMT -5
I heard from one of my wife's friends today, that my mother-in-law was at Chapel Hill medical center for most of the day running tests yesterday. Apparently, they found something... The last I spoke to my mother-in-law last weekend, she had some tests ran at her usual Dr. but everything looked OK, but they took a biopsy of one spot just to be sure.
I have spoken to my mil via text a couple of times since then, and never asked, because I thought it was as she had explained, and she never said anything. I find out today from this mutual friend and her husband who were at a church event I was at. Asking if I knew anything, that they had reached out to my wife yesterday to invite her to something and she found out. My wife asked her and her family to keep her mother in their prayers. She is asking for prayers from people, but I don't even know anything about it..
I haven't spoken to her in over 2 weeks. Giving her space, letting her initiate contact instead of reaching and grasping. It doesn't help that this is my stepdaughter 's biological father' s weekend..
Please pray for my mother-in-law, the entire family took me in like blood family from day one, and being so far from my family that means the world to me. Please pray for me, I am broken, desperate, and lonely. Missing my wife and my friend. I know there are things I need to work on and get right with God before this can be fixed, and I keep stumbling trying to do so. I keep blaming myself for lingering where I am.
Please pray for my wife and stepdaughter, my mother-in-law means the world to both of them, and I am sure they are scared. Pray that God will grant them peace and heal her or use this to bring them both closer to God. As his will, chooses.
I feel my prayers aren't getting past my roof right now, but know that I am thinking of and praying for all of you.
"When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!" Lauren Daigle "Trust In You"
|
|
|
|
Post by wendyp67 on Mar 19, 2016 21:20:08 GMT -5
Father please I beg mercy, peace and healing all kinds of ways. Please draw all of this family to you. Please let them know You are near. Let them hear You as You lead them in the way You would have them go. In Jesus' name amen.
|
|
erika
Junior Member
Posts: 81 
|
Post by erika on Mar 19, 2016 21:22:43 GMT -5
Eric, God wants you to trust him in this difficult time, Im gonna pray for you and your family. We know that God works in mysterious ways, maybe this is a way to be closer to your family.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mary H on Mar 19, 2016 22:03:07 GMT -5
Praying Eric
|
|
|
|
Post by tkk2 on Mar 20, 2016 0:19:20 GMT -5
Praying for you Eric. Praying that god guide your steps and words. I know how difficult it is ....the waiting. Praying that your marriage will be transformed into the beautiful union that god intended. I think you are wise to give her space now....that's my story right now too. But even that is hard because no communication seems bad...we don't want them to forget we're right here with open arms. The Lord's got this.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sharon on Mar 20, 2016 9:13:55 GMT -5
Eric I can't imagine what you must be going through, but I know brother that even this, God will use for his glory. Don't let the enemy take hold of you right now. I know it hurts. You want to be the man that your wife reaches out to in her difficult times, but God is going to take this and turn it back for his favor.
Lord I pray now for a peace that passes understanding to overwhelm and drown Eric. If his prayers can not get past his roof, then I pray that you would instead come to him and fill his home with your spirit. Stand with him and comfort him in this difficult time. Give him the words to speak to the family that would show your love bursting from him. Drown him in your spirit now. Thank you for your goodness Lord and your will be done here.
|
|
|
|
Post by Adrienne on Mar 20, 2016 11:12:13 GMT -5
Eric, I am sorry to hear this about your mother-in-law... I will be praying extra for your wife's family during this time. But remember our God is an amazing miracle-worker and He cares deeply for this woman, as well as for your wife and stepdaughter.
I want to reassure you a little regarding your wife's silence to you. I know that it is incredibly difficult because you want to be able to be there for her, but I personally know that I have a bad habit of turning inwards when I am upset. I close off and often (although I know it is wrong) my husband is the last person I want to turn to because I feel so vulnerable with him... other people are easier because it is more superficial. I will be praying for your wife's heart to be opened!
Also, about your prayers not seeing to get past his roof, I really appreciate Sharon's input. Remember that God comes to you!! He dwells in you, you are a temple of His Holy Spirit!! He loves you deeply Eric and he always listens to your prayers. It is a lie of the enemy that He doesn't hear them.
Here are some verses I found for you just flipping through Pslams:
"But I know the Lord has set apart the godly for Himself; the Lord hears when I call to him." (Psalm 4:3)
"The Lord has heard my plea, the Lord accepts my prayer." (Psalm 6:9)
"O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear" (Psalm 10:17)
"In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears." (Psalm 18:6)
"Now I now that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from the His holy heaven with the saving might of His right hand." (Psalm 20:6)
"For He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and He has not hidden His face form him, but has heard, when he cried to Him." (Psalm 22:24)
"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me." (Psalm 30:2)
"I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul" (Psalm 31:7)
*** THIS ONE REALLY SPEAKS TO ME FOR YOU ERIC -->>> "I had said in my alarm, 'I am cut off from your sight.' But you have heard the voice of my pleas for mercy when I cried to you for help." (Psalm 31:22)
Keep praying brother. God hears you.
|
|
|
|
Post by marissaa91 on Mar 20, 2016 17:49:03 GMT -5
I'll be praying
|
|
|
|
Post by Adrienne on Mar 24, 2016 9:17:18 GMT -5
Eric how are you doing? Any updates on your MIL? Have you been able to feel a better connection in your prayers at all?
|
|
|
|
Post by Eric W. on Mar 24, 2016 20:19:01 GMT -5
I texted her today to check on her and to ask her to tell my stepdaughter that I love her. She sent a short reply back and as I was pulling in the driveway I saw her walking outside and waved to her. She waved, but I didn't stop by to talk to her. It was after work, and my wife wasn't home from work yet. I always feel like I am placing a wedge between her and her parents anyway, since all this happened. So, I try not to go over there when I know she either is, or is going to be there as well. Which is hard. Thank you for the scripture, I have been reading all the posts, just not responding. I know God is here with me, that he hears me. I get in this place where I don't feel Worthy. Like I am just a pretender. Apparently, it is somewhat common for guys of my generation. I think the term is imposter syndrome. And I know that I can't be more or less saved because of anything I do. That heaven and salvation aren't earned by me at all. They are gifts freely given to me.
I know God, I believe in God, and I trust God. I love him for everything he is, for everything he has done, and for all he has promised me. I love my wife, I love my stepdaughter. I go to sleep with thoughts of them in my head as I say my prayers. I wake with them on my mind, as I read my devotional, my scripture. I can't get them off my mind, unless I am completely distracted. My wife has told me that she loves me, but that she isn't "in love" with me...
I love Jesus. I can close my eyes and imagine him standing before me, just smiling, and all I can do is cry, and smile back. But, it's not the same. I go to sleep with scripture and prayer, and yet she is the last thing on my mind. I wake up, and read a devotional and she is still there... I don't want to forget her, I am terrified she is forgetting me. Out of sight, out of mind.
I want Jesus first in my life, and I don't know what I need to change inside me to make that connection. Maybe I want to be a lazy Christian. Maybe the price of sin, is focusing on him, the narrow path is correcting your course to keep him centered.
To answer your questions, I think she is doing well, but I don't know that she has the results from any of the tests. I am hoping to find out this weekend. I am still fighting my way out of this miry clay, to get closer to him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Adrienne on Mar 24, 2016 20:52:06 GMT -5
Eric I am actually familiar with the idea of imposter syndrome. I am a graduate student in a PhD program and that is something that pretty much all of is deal with! "Are we good enough to be in this program? Surely so-and-so is more worthy than I am..." I can understand how it would apply to our relationship with God as well. The fact is that NO, we are not worthy... none of us are! But it's not about being worthy by what we do. (Which you already said). I actually wrote this on a post-it note and put it in my workspace last week: "Through Jesus Christ I am redeemed and *made* WORTHY!"
It is a gift that has been paid for and given to us... all we have to do is accept it! Again, you've already said this. So I know you know it. But I want to really reiterate it... God wants you; God wants a relationship with you! Don't ever let the enemy convince you otherwise.
As for the struggle to prioritize Jesus over your wife and stepdaughter... trust me, I know. You aren't alone in this by any means. I think it is something we have to work on daily through prayer and through a conscious perspective shift. We have the choice of what we think about and it's not a power we should take lightly. Keep praying, brother. Don't give up. This spiritual path has its highs and lows but the important thing is to keep moving forward (even if it's tiny steps) and just don't take your eyes off God.
I'll continue in prayer for you, for your MIL, for your wife, for your stepdaughter.
|
|
|
|
Post by william on Mar 24, 2016 20:57:08 GMT -5
Eric, still praying brother. I know how you feel, My wife chooses for the most part not to really communicate with me, I have had to always reach out first, until recently felt God laid on me to stop...it is hard I do the same with the thoughts of her and kids before my eyes close and first thing when I wake. Stay strong brother, keep trusting Gods path that's all we can do.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mary H on Mar 24, 2016 21:36:07 GMT -5
I just hate how the enemy gets us into the really foggy places.. But when we come out of it, it's like we just got a new pair of lenses & everything is so much brighter than before! The enemy intends to keep us in this fog forever.. God wants to use the enemy's schemes for good by growing us through it! Flexing that focus muscle & really working that commitment-despite-feelings muscle
I'm praying for you brother
|
|
