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Post by Sharon on Mar 18, 2016 13:03:00 GMT -5
Lord help me to take captive my thoughts and bring my anxiety to you. I want to run to Chris and tell him all my concerns and fears. I am tired of "playing the game" and I just want to be honest, but God I know you want me to run to you with this and not Chris. I know you know what is going on in his heart and behind closed doors when I am not around and I pray that you would take up for me and deal with that for me. I pray that you would give me your comfort and hold me because I feel so alone. I know I am not alone. I am in this world, but I am not of it. I know that I am your child and you know my name and even though you are the creator and author of life, you care about my small little life and you want joy and hope for me. Give me peace today please Lord and cast the enemy far from me.
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Prayer
Mar 18, 2016 13:31:27 GMT -5
Post by Adrienne on Mar 18, 2016 13:31:27 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing this Sharon. Maybe this is the answer I'm looking for. I found another small handful of female hair in G's laundry today and have been debating whether to show it to him when he gets home so he knows what I was talking about yesterday when I sort of flipped out. I have an hour until he's home, I guess I need to pray... :-( I am humbled by your cry for peace, I know that's what I need to be crying out for as well. I have this bad habit of turning inwards instead of to God!
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Post by Sharon on Mar 18, 2016 16:48:02 GMT -5
"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us" Romans 5:3-5
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 18, 2016 17:21:13 GMT -5
Sharon, thanks for the blog recommendation. I just read it and it had some good reminders. I decided not to confront him and mixed the hairs further into the trash so I couldn't get them out easily. I was praying about it and I just crave peace. I know I'm not going to get that by putting this in his face. I know he spends time with two women with that hair type; one he works with for Herbalife and sometimes goes to the gym with, and one who is one of his best friends. So it's not a total 100% of he's definitely cheating. It's just triggering when I am already so insecure!! I have expressed my insecurity this week a few times and he has answered with some reassurance and some grace (normally he would flip out but he has been patient). I have to take that as a positive. I know God will continue working in his heart... I just want to step out of God's way and show love and be at peace. Like you and others have said before, if he is in the wrong, 1) it will be brought to light in God's time and by God's means and 2) it will heap burning coals on his head for me to show him godly love. Thanks so much for the prayers!! Sorry for dominating your thread! I really appreciate the support and I am praying for you and Chris as well. I am so encouraged by the fact that Chris expressed genuine interest in learning how to approach God and develop a relationship with Him! That is an area where I am praying a lot for you two!
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Post by Sharon on Mar 18, 2016 17:28:21 GMT -5
Lol, you can take over my thread! I don't know why I'm having computer issues and one of my posts went missing, but it looks like you got the info anyways!
Yes please keep praying for Chris. Although he said earlier in the week that he wanted to find his way back to God, I already feel him slipping back into his old comforts and the fear is creeping in on me. I had a dream last night that he was cheating again and that of course didn't help. He loves to make excuses for why he can't do something that is important to me - he's leaving tomorrow for his one week training in florida and he told me when he got home today that he's frustrated because he was hoping to get some rest before he leaves in the morning. Obvious to me, he was trying to make an excuse for not going to church tonight, but I just played dumb and told him to take a nap now and I would keep the kids out of his hair. I'm going to insist he come tonight, but if he chooses not to, I am going anyways. I can't control his actions - only mine. Thank you for the continued prayers and I am praying for you today sister
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 18, 2016 18:12:30 GMT -5
Sharon, I often find myself "playing dumb!" I hope that Chris can stand by what he said. I know God will be working big time in that heart for him to keep his stated commitment to seek a relationship with God!
But you are so right, again, an important reminder.. we can't control what they do, only what we do.
Also, I feel for you on that nightmare. I have bad dreams about G cheating also. I encourage you to pray for God to guard your sleep and dreams! This is something I try to do. And I'll keep praying for you! I so value this community of prayer warriors!
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