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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 18:13:42 GMT -5
He is texting with ANOTHER woman! I am so angry sad hurt. I want to vomit. How is this happening again?! Guys please pray - I want to act crazy. I want to lash out and I don't want to be loving. I have so much anger and hatred.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 19:47:43 GMT -5
I am putting Chris out tonight. I felt confirmation from God that I should not partner with the darkness and that it is okay for me to do this. Please pray for me friends.
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 6, 2016 19:56:21 GMT -5
Sharon I am so sorry :-( I can't imagine how angry and hurt you are feeling right now. My heart hurts for you :-(
Tonight at church someone requested prayer for strength and the pastor invited anyone in need of the same prayer to go forward. I did and prayed for myself and for all this group. The pain that we face is immense and we cannot deal with it on our own. We need the help of someone who has faced infinitely more hurt than we have and yet still came out victorious and loving us all. It is ok to acknowledge the pain, the anger, even the hatred, but I urge you to acknowledge it and then give it over to God. Even vengeance is not ours, but rather forgiveness.
There was a verse in a reading at church tonight and it hit home for me, now I know you need to hear it too:
"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled" (Hebrews 12:15)
The pain we have faced in our marriages has set root in us but we have the choice of how fertilize it and cultivate it. We can allow it to bloom as love and forgiveness and grace and self-sacrifice, or we can leave space for the enemy to twist it into bitterness, into lasting anger, into hatred. Today I was convicted. We all deal with those ugly emotions but we have the choice of how to handle them. Not long ago you advised me to take my concerns about kids captive to Christ. So too I urge you to do with this resentment. Snip it at the root, don't let it grow anymore, and give the cuttings to God to transform for His glory.
Praying for you Sharon. For peace and comfort.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 20:43:34 GMT -5
Adrienne thank you. He isn't home yet and I needed to hear that. When he calls I don't want to be bitter or hateful. I still recognize these evil spirit that has deep claws in him and it kills me and makes me so sad for him. But I can not be a part of the sin anymore. Allowing him to stay in this house of God while he is sinning it taking part in the sin. Allowing him to buy lavish things like a new car to fill the place of God in his heart is allowing the sin. So I have to make him leave, but I won't stop being loving.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 6, 2016 21:00:55 GMT -5
I completely understand... There has to be a line between standing & enabling.. I don't even want to try to give advice because I'm mentally/emotionally not in the place to. I'm still fighting off emotions & wrong thinking. But I'm praying for you sister
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Post by william on Mar 6, 2016 21:09:29 GMT -5
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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 21:15:23 GMT -5
I am praying for you too Mary. What is going on right now?
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Help!
Mar 6, 2016 21:27:10 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by william on Mar 6, 2016 21:27:10 GMT -5
Mary,
Let me know what I can pray for you.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 6, 2016 21:30:18 GMT -5
Thanks
I'm just still feeling very over the whole him not coming home every night at least in time for the kids bedtime.
Also with how impatient & mean he is toward the kids & won't admit he needs to change even tho he knows .. So much pride... I just need to re focus but every time I begin to, the focus on my emotions creeps back so quickly... Seems like every couple hrs im thinking about how I want out & crying telling God I'm done.. But I know I can't.. I love Him more than I love him...
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Post by Adrienne on Mar 6, 2016 21:37:31 GMT -5
Sharon and Mary, my heart is aching for both of you tonight. I want to urge both of you to turn your eyes to God... I cannot really advise how to deal with these painful situations but I know our God can comfort and guide you in a way that no human can!!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Praying for you both, for comfort, peace, and strength.
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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 21:38:43 GMT -5
I have been praying and I realize his priorities can't be straight while he lives here. I am standing in Gods way still. Yes, Chris pushed me up on his priorities list, but now it goes him, me, work and kids, and God is last.
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Post by Mary H on Mar 6, 2016 21:41:39 GMT -5
Thank you for that scripture Adrienne... I'm going to be reading these verses over & over for a while
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Post by marissaa91 on Mar 6, 2016 21:59:27 GMT -5
I will be praying for you both, Sharon and Mary. My heart breaks for you both. I'm truely sorry. I'm not sure I even had adequate advice to give, just prayer and scripture.
"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies."
(2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NLT)
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Post by Mary H on Mar 6, 2016 22:02:12 GMT -5
Sharon, I've been feeling that way about Tony too.
So so so much!
But I can't yet tell if I'm being led by emotions & hurt or if this is really what God wants.. I can't tell if this tug is satan which it most likely is, or if God is allowing me to have this huge hurt because He means to work on Tony after I let him know I can't go on in this dysfunction anymore...
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Post by Sharon on Mar 6, 2016 22:02:39 GMT -5
I feel so stupid. I haven't given this over to God at all. When I keep insisting on paying the bills and keeping Chris in the house when he is sinning - I am not trusting God. I haven't been trusting God that he will restore us. I've been letting the enemy deceive me that we are restored and this is as good as it gets because he is home. I am putting him out for sure because I have to trust him to God. God will take care of Him. I don't have to be his mom. In fact, I have come to know God as my spouse - Chris needs to feel that with God too.
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