Post by Adrienne on Mar 17, 2016 18:28:11 GMT -5
Hello friends,
Can you please pray for increased grace and patience for me and G, on both sides?
I posted previously about how I have been feeling so negative, suspicious/paranoid, and bitter for a couple days now. I really have been trying to pray through it but it's hard to shake! Today I have been feeling sick (stomach bug) so when G got home I asked if we could just watch a movie together. We were eating chips and one fell on the couch and when he picked it up he complained jokingly because a hair of mine was on it.
I don't know why but that was all it took and I immediately tore into him about how I've found tons of other women's hairs all in his clothes lately. I KNOW they are not mine (different hair type) and while I know he has female friends he hangs out with sometimes, it is so triggering... I have found them in the laundry, on his keys, and today in the bed when I was making it (which was probably why it was so fresh on my mind this afternoon).
He didn't react very harshly, just something like "Wow, you had that one ready right away" and then said how did I even know it was from him (I do go to a Hispanic church so I guess this was minimally reasonable) and I said because they were always on his clothes. And he didn't really answer. Then I said sorry and explained I was sensitive because of the one on the bed and he just said "whatever, it's fine." And we just kept watching the movie and neither one of us said anything else.
He just left to get his hair cut and before he went I gave him a hug and he held me for a really long time and then said I love you and left.
I'm glad it didn't turn into a confrontation because we're both so drained from that. I'm disappointed in myself for lashing out. I don't know how to just get out of this funk. I know I need to act loving and just trust but it's so hard sometimes when I'm still so very insecure and his behavior is so triggering.
Sorry for the long story, but thanks for reading and praying. Just can't tell anyone else (besides God, of course) so it helps to get it out here.
Can you please pray for increased grace and patience for me and G, on both sides?
I posted previously about how I have been feeling so negative, suspicious/paranoid, and bitter for a couple days now. I really have been trying to pray through it but it's hard to shake! Today I have been feeling sick (stomach bug) so when G got home I asked if we could just watch a movie together. We were eating chips and one fell on the couch and when he picked it up he complained jokingly because a hair of mine was on it.
I don't know why but that was all it took and I immediately tore into him about how I've found tons of other women's hairs all in his clothes lately. I KNOW they are not mine (different hair type) and while I know he has female friends he hangs out with sometimes, it is so triggering... I have found them in the laundry, on his keys, and today in the bed when I was making it (which was probably why it was so fresh on my mind this afternoon).
He didn't react very harshly, just something like "Wow, you had that one ready right away" and then said how did I even know it was from him (I do go to a Hispanic church so I guess this was minimally reasonable) and I said because they were always on his clothes. And he didn't really answer. Then I said sorry and explained I was sensitive because of the one on the bed and he just said "whatever, it's fine." And we just kept watching the movie and neither one of us said anything else.
He just left to get his hair cut and before he went I gave him a hug and he held me for a really long time and then said I love you and left.
I'm glad it didn't turn into a confrontation because we're both so drained from that. I'm disappointed in myself for lashing out. I don't know how to just get out of this funk. I know I need to act loving and just trust but it's so hard sometimes when I'm still so very insecure and his behavior is so triggering.
Sorry for the long story, but thanks for reading and praying. Just can't tell anyone else (besides God, of course) so it helps to get it out here.
